Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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modern days, the majority of families
is
Change the verb form
are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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working
parents
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with different views
in
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on

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taking
care
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of their
children
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. Some
parents
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believe that making their own
parents
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take
care
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of their
kids
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the best decision
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others argue that
childcare
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

centres are better
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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giving
best
Add an article
the best

The noun phrase best care seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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care
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
the

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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following
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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paragraphs,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will examine and analyze two
contrast
Replace the word
contrasting

The word contrast doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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statements
of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

topic. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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have a firm belief that entrusting
grandparents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for handling my
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the best solution.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, the competitive lifestyle and high product price makes many married
couple
Change to a plural noun
couples

The singular countable noun couple follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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have to work
for gaining
Change preposition
to gain

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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resources and
giving
Wrong verb form
give

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb giving. Consider changing it.

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their
kids
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

best
Correct article usage
the best

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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treatment
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as education, food and accommodation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is a disadvantage
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue which it is harder
for looking
Change preposition
to look

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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after their own
kids
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they have responsibility in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace

The noun phrase workplace seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a large number of
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

asks
Correct subject-verb agreement
ask

It seems that the verb asks does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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their
grandparents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to take
care
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

their
Change preposition
of their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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infants because they must know well their grandchildren than other people.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after a long
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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day
working
Change preposition
of working

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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, they can pick up their
kids
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

whenever they want without paying the bills.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Indonesia, handing over their babies to their
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
ordinary
Add an article
an ordinary

The noun phrase ordinary thing seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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thing for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

childcare
Correct article usage
a childcare

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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centre is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

one of the best rescues for every working
couples
Change to a singular noun
couple

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun couples. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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as there are numerous games and many friends that
making
Wrong verb form
make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb making. Consider changing it.

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their youth feel more convenient and happier to be there.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a guarantee is given because several babysitters will be responsible for their job
on
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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protecting the toddlers.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are two drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

solution which
were
Verb problem
are that

There may be a verb use issue here.

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the price is generally expensive and the time depends on
working
Add an article
the working

The noun phrase working policy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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policy.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many situations when
childcare
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be closed but the
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

go to get their
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

late. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

both sides have reasoned
explanation
Fix the agreement mistake
explanations

It seems that explanation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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extremely agree that giving trust to your
grandparents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for guarding your
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is better than to
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

childcare
Correct article usage
a childcare

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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centre because
grandparents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

know your
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

well and
no
Add a missing verb
have no

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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worries about getting late to pick up them.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable ability to organize ideas but lacks variety in the logical connectors, which affects the overall fluency of the text. Try incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You introduced and concluded the essay, but the conclusion should be more comprehensive and reiterate the main points more clearly. Work on constructing concise, strong introductions and conclusions that serve as efficient bookends to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Although main points were presented, they were not always explicitly supported by clear examples or fully elaborated upon. Strive to use specific and relevant examples to substantiate your arguments, making sure to explain how they support your view.
task achievement
The response is relatively complete, but there is room for improvement in the development of ideas and examples. Aim to clearly state your opinion and expand on it with more thorough evidence and explanations throughout the essay.
task achievement
While ideas were clear, they were not always expressed comprehensively. Enhance your ideas by delving deeper into the reasons behind them and explaining the concepts in greater detail.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant to the topic but lack specificity. Including more precise and vivid examples will make your argument more compelling and concrete.
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