Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
Linking Words
this
modern days, the majority of families Correct determiner usage
these
is
working Change the verb form
are
parents
with different views Use synonyms
in
taking Change preposition
on
care
of their Use synonyms
children
. Some Use synonyms
parents
believe that making their own Use synonyms
parents
take Use synonyms
care
of their Use synonyms
kids
is the best decision Use synonyms
while
others argue that Linking Words
childcare
centres are better Use synonyms
in
giving Change preposition
at
best
Add an article
the best
care
. In Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
following Correct determiner usage
the
of
paragraphs, Change preposition
apply
i
will examine and analyze two Change the capitalization
I
contrast
statements Replace the word
contrasting
of
Change preposition
on
this
topic. In my opinion, Linking Words
i
have a firm belief that entrusting Change the capitalization
I
grandparents
for handling my Use synonyms
children
is the best solution.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, the competitive lifestyle and high product price makes many married Linking Words
couple
have to work Change to a plural noun
couples
for gaining
resources and Change preposition
to gain
giving
their Wrong verb form
give
kids
Use synonyms
best
treatment Correct article usage
the best
such
as education, food and accommodation. Linking Words
However
, there is a disadvantage Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
this
issue which it is harder Linking Words
for looking
after their own Change preposition
to look
kids
Use synonyms
while
they have responsibility in Linking Words
workplace
. Add an article
the workplace
Hence
, a large number of Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
asks
their Correct subject-verb agreement
ask
grandparents
to take Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
their
infants because they must know well their grandchildren than other people. Change preposition
of their
In addition
, after a long Linking Words
a
day Correct article usage
apply
working
, they can pick up their Change preposition
of working
kids
whenever they want without paying the bills. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Indonesia, handing over their babies to their Linking Words
parents
is Use synonyms
ordinary
thing for them.
Add an article
an ordinary
On the other hand
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
childcare
centre is Correct article usage
a childcare
also
one of the best rescues for every working Linking Words
couples
as there are numerous games and many friends that Change to a singular noun
couple
making
their youth feel more convenient and happier to be there. Wrong verb form
make
Furthermore
, a guarantee is given because several babysitters will be responsible for their job Linking Words
on
protecting the toddlers. Change preposition
of
However
, there are two drawbacks Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
this
solution which Linking Words
were
the price is generally expensive and the time depends on Verb problem
are that
working
policy. Add an article
the working
For example
, there are many situations when Linking Words
childcare
will be closed but the Use synonyms
parents
go to get their Use synonyms
children
late.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
both sides have reasoned Linking Words
explanation
, Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
i
extremely agree that giving trust to your Change the capitalization
I
grandparents
for guarding your Use synonyms
children
is better than to Use synonyms
Use synonyms
childcare
centre because Correct article usage
a childcare
grandparents
know your Use synonyms
kids
well and Use synonyms
no
worries about getting late to pick up them.Add a missing verb
have no
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable ability to organize ideas but lacks variety in the logical connectors, which affects the overall fluency of the text. Try incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You introduced and concluded the essay, but the conclusion should be more comprehensive and reiterate the main points more clearly. Work on constructing concise, strong introductions and conclusions that serve as efficient bookends to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Although main points were presented, they were not always explicitly supported by clear examples or fully elaborated upon. Strive to use specific and relevant examples to substantiate your arguments, making sure to explain how they support your view.
task achievement
The response is relatively complete, but there is room for improvement in the development of ideas and examples. Aim to clearly state your opinion and expand on it with more thorough evidence and explanations throughout the essay.
task achievement
While ideas were clear, they were not always expressed comprehensively. Enhance your ideas by delving deeper into the reasons behind them and explaining the concepts in greater detail.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant to the topic but lack specificity. Including more precise and vivid examples will make your argument more compelling and concrete.