IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.
#amount #six #consumer #goods #four #european #countries
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The given chart demonstrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent in four European countries
for
Change preposition
on
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 six consumer goods.
According to
Linking Words
 the illustrated data currency and spent
money
Use synonyms
measured
Add a missing verb
are measured
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 as
thousand
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 pound sterling, and
this
Linking Words
 data
based
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is based
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 on
Use synonyms
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of
money
Use synonyms
 on sales of goods in Germany, Italy, France and Britain.
Firstly
Linking Words
, German
people
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 and
people
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 from Italy spent
very
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a very
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 similar
amount
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 of
money
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 on buying personal stereos and tennis racquets (almost 150
thousand
Use synonyms
 pounds sterling).
Likewise
Linking Words
,
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Britain which
were
Change the verb form
was
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 just over 160
thousand
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 pound sterling.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, French
people
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 spent much
more
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apply
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less than other countries, nearly 135
thousand
Use synonyms
 pounds for each item.
Secondly
Linking Words
, items like perfumes, CDs and toys draw
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 results for Germany about 145
thousand
Use synonyms
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
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 sterling.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the French and the British spent a lot of
money
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 than other countries. Moving to
sale
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the sale
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 of photographic film,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 clearly seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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France and the British spent much more
money
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 with
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 5 items. Meanwhile, Germany maintained its
amount
Use synonyms
 of
spent
Change the form of the verb
spending
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for
Change preposition
on
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 all items.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Italian
people
Use synonyms
 showed
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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a resemble trend except for toys and photographic films.
Submitted by esenkulova.ulbosyn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, thousand, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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