Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
having the opportunity to work at a young age is very beneficial in the future. many people think youngsters should do unpaid jobs,
hence
this
leads to more benefits for teenagers and the community. which to some extent I disagree with this
belief.
firstly
, expecting the young population to do the
unpaid tasks is unthoughtful , Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, these days because of school they already have enough tasks to do that they barely have free time , so imagine making them do unpaid jobs at those limited times . as a result
, many of them might lose themselves to this
amount of pressure.
on the other hand
, working at these ages can improve many skills in them which they can use in their future ,also
it can teach them how can a workplace be and how should they behave and perform with other people. moreover
, these works give benefits to the society and the community in which they live and improve the quality of their neighborhood .
Correct your spelling
In
in addition
working without expecting to get money can make them understand doing some tasks is just for a better feeling and not for the money can opens their eye to immaterial world and changes the way they’re viewing the world.
to sum up
, there are many benefits to this
work but it shouldn’t be forced on teenagers because not every person's situation is the same. but it also
can be useful for the community that they live in raise the quality of their life and make changes in many things.Submitted by behnazahmadi2004 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You should work on developing a clearer logical structure in your essay. The ideas sometimes jump from one to another without smooth transitions or clear linkages. Create a plan outlining your main points before writing and follow that structure. Use transition words and phrases to seamlessly connect your thoughts.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved for better clarity and impact. Introduce the topic more clearly by directly responding to the prompt and stating your overall opinion on the issue. Similarly, conclude by summarizing the main points of your argument and reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are present but need more development and support. Whenever you make a claim or present a benefit or disadvantage, back it up with specific examples, evidence, or further explanation. This will greatly enhance the effectiveness and persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Your response to the task is adequate, but to achieve a higher score, ensure that your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt. Make certain that your position on the issue is clear throughout the essay and that your arguments are fully developed.
task achievement
Your ideas are understandable but occasionally lack clarity. Clarify your arguments by expanding upon them with more detail and precision. Keep your sentences focused and avoid unnecessary wordiness that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
To support your arguments and provide a more complete response, use relevant and specific examples. This demonstrates your ability to think critically about the topic and gives weight to your arguments. Include examples from trustworthy sources or hypothetical scenarios if applicable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.