Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education in adult populations who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that despite the importance of providing
education
to young people
, the spent
of money by Replace the word
spending
government
on literacy for Add an article
the government
adult
population who are not able to write and read should Add an article
the adult
an adult
to
be fostered. Considering that Change the verb form
apply
education
can change social realities and increase life's prosperity, this
essay agrees with this
statement.
It is known that the lack of literacy impacts many lives across the world. People
who did not have the chance of having classes during their childhood face difficulty in their adult realities. Job opportunity
and personal development are affected by Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
absence
of alphabetization. Because of Add an article
the absence
this
fact, government
plays an important role minimizing
Change preposition
in minimizing
this
social problem. In Brazil, for instance
, there is Correct article usage
a government's
government's
program which Change noun form
government
foster
the growth Change the verb form
fosters
education
in adulthood. It has brought considerable changes in many perspectives.
Change preposition
of education
In addition
to the social impact, injecting money to
Change preposition
into
adults
Change the noun form
adult
education
can bring positive prospect
in the economic field. The more Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
people
able
to read and write the more Add a missing verb
are able
people
ready
to enter Add a missing verb
are ready
in
the Change preposition
apply
labor
market. Considering that literate Change the spelling
labour
people
have their possibities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
wided
, they can choose an occupation. Just to complement the Correct your spelling
wide
privious
example, in the same country, the Correct your spelling
previous
government
provides technical courses to the person who had late literacy, thus
, this
one can end the course as a professional.
To conclude
, creating opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
to
adults to complete their Change preposition
for
education
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
social
and economic impact Correct article usage
a social
to
the community and the Change preposition
on
government
play
a huge role in Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
this
circunstance
.Correct your spelling
circumstance
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structure
Be sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While the logical structure is adequate, the absence of a formal greeting and closure detracts from the overall coherence. Each paragraph should center around a single, clear idea, which has been satisfactorily achieved.
task response
Ensure your essay addresses all parts of the task prompt comprehensively. Your response largely meets this requirement. However, aiming to cover all nuances of the prompt will enhance the completeness of your response.
tone
Maintain a more formal and consistent tone appropriate for an academic essay. The tone of your writing has instances of informality, which should be addressed for a higher band score in this criterion.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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