person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
contemporary world, life
ethics such
as kindness, trust and honour are considered worthless in shaping an individual character as societies have started judging people
on the basis of their social status, and the possession of materialistic things they have. I completely agree with this
statement that people
's worth counts in monetary terms nowadays.
The foremost reason behind this
changing perspective to look at someone's materialistic possessions instead
of their personality traits is globalisation. Globalisation has provided a platform for each country to trade at a global level, resulting in, an economic boom that has been noticed in each nation which has improved their people
's living standards. It has improved their purchasing power to bring more and more comforts in their living lifestyles, thereby, individual people
who have more comforts in their lives are considered more worthful in the communities these days.
Furthermore
, people
who are enjoying a more luxurious life
are holding a recognised status in the communities. To illustrate it, parents are always looking for a bride for their girl who has respect for their surroundings. In the past, an individual might had fewer resources to run his family, but if his life
ethics such
as loyalty, trust, respect towards others, social responsibility etcetera reflected his character considered a suitable person for their daughter. However
, now rather than looking upon such
personality features, parents are choosing an individual who is earning millions, has magnificent bungalows, luxurious cars, and enormous bank balances because parents have the vision that more materialistic holdings mean a person has more worthiness in the people
around them.
In conclusion, in the past five decades ago, the trend when individual persons were judged on the basis of their good life
conduct has now disappeared as the gimmicks of the modern world have made up our minds to assess a person on the grounds of materialistic possessions one has; no matters how is their social behaviour towards the communities.Submitted by kanwalkaur05 on
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task achievement
Your response addresses the task well, covering the main points of the essay prompt. However, make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, you could mention real-life cases or studies that illustrate how people prioritize material possessions over old-fashioned values.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. To improve, try to make your key points more distinct and ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This will enhance readability and make your arguments more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. Currently, some of the sentences can feel repetitive or monotonous. Including a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can enhance the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases more effectively. This will help in linking your ideas more smoothly and will enhance the coherence of your essay. Phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition to,' and 'On the other hand,' can be very helpful in connecting your points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion and clearly states your stance, which is a strong way to begin your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provided a comprehensive and clear set of ideas to support your argument, which shows good understanding and engagement with the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.