IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.
#hours #chinese #erican #turkish #brazilian #tourists #leisure #activities #holiday #greece
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
 chart shows the average number of
hours
 spent each
day
 by
Chinese
, American,
Turkish
, and
Brazilian
tourists
 on holiday
leisure
 activities in Greece in August 2019. Generally, we can see that
both
Chinese
 and American
tourists
 spend most of their
leisure
time
 reading
books
,
while
both
Turkish
 and
Brazilian
 visitor enjoy their
time
 at the beach.
In contrast
, visiting places is something that the
tourists
 are not really interested in, having the lowest number of
hours
 spent on each group. As I said before,
both
Chinese
 and American
tourists
 spend quite a lot of
time
 reading
books
 in their
leisure
time
.
However
, it shows that
Chinese
tourists
 spent a longer amount of
time
 reading
books
 with a third duration of their
day
 spent compared to the Americans.
Both
 of the groups have the same pattern of interest in other
leisure
 activities because the next activities that are sorted by the average number of
hours
 spent are
both
 enjoying the beach and
then
 visiting places.
On the other hand
,
both
Turkish
 and
Brazilian
tourists
 were spending much longer of their
time
 on the beach. The graph shows that the
Brazilian
 spent about 6
hours
 of their
time
 doing so,
while
 the
Turkish
 spent around 5
hours
 a
day
.
Both
 of the groups have the same amount of
time
 on reading
books
 which is 4
hours
 a
day
, with an hour difference on spending their
time
 on visiting places.
Submitted by mayfa.shadrina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, day, chinese, turkish, brazilian, tourists, leisure, both, time, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: