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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#three #crimes #cases #england #wales #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
three different categories of illegal crimes and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of cases committed from 1970 to 2005 in England and Wales.
Overall
,the graph apparent that car theft is the most increase illegal
cases
Fix the agreement mistake
case
show examples
 in England and Wales.
While house
Correct word choice
House
show examples
 burgling is the second illegal case.
Whereas
 street robbery is steadily at first and slightly
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the final
year
. From
1970s
Change the article
the 1970s
show examples
, car theft
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started from 0.40
million
 and significantly
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 1.00
million
 in 1990 In the following
year
 that
incresae
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
 to peak at 1.60 in 1995.
After
this
year
 has gradually
reduce
Change the verb form
reduced
show examples
 to 1.20 in 2005 In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of house burgling started from 0.20
million
 in 1970 and up to
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 0.70
million
 in 1995.After that moderately
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 to 0.5
million
 in 2005.
On the other hand
, street robbery
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 that the
constantly
Change the word
constant
show examples
 from 0.1
million
 in 1970 to 1990.
However
 in the following next
year
 that
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 0.20 in 2000.
Also
 constantly to the 2005
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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