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Band 4

some people have the same type of job throughout their lifetime, while others prefer th change the type of job they do

#people #type #job #lifetime #change
working in the same type of
job
 in their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 has
benn
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been
 a
tooppic
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topic
 of
dicussion
Correct your spelling
discussion
 for many years.
while
 some
poeple
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people
think
Add the particle
think to
show examples
 be more partial to
diffrenet
Correct your spelling
different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
jobthat
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jobs than
 what they are doing.
this
 essay will discuss and preference of the opinion. Those
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
ae
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 believe in the same
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
 that
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are attending and taking on their duty.
That is
 an
opportunity
 to answer the
biggets
Correct your spelling
biggest
 question by
illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrating
show examples
 their
perfomance
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performance
 and
individually
Change the word
individual
show examples
 results from their working in one
job
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
.
Opportunity
Add an article
The opportunity
show examples
 of career to get promote and increasing of
income
,
Secondly
 organisation society is crucial to
attract
Change the verb form
attracting
show examples
 their employees to
saty
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stay
 and be loyalty.
Thirdly
,
benefitcial
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beneficial
of location and transportation were
fundermendal
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fundamental
 to let people stay.
For example
, humanity
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 the point on their
job
such
income
, location, transportation, and services from their organisation
includes
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
wealfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
.
On the other hand
, I personally hold the view that through as
chaging
Correct your spelling
changing
 type of
job
. Some people
are agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 to change their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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,
income
, and experiences. For the instancesuch as large companies and more development
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technologies, they have more resources to encourage their member as much as they can.
although
 they contribute to offer more
income
 and chances for their experiences.
To sum up
, working in the same
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
 in
thruogh
Correct your spelling
through
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 well-being individually
benefitcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 in perspectively.
However
, changing
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 crucial to
achieve
Change the verb form
achieving
show examples
 experiences and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
In addition
 from my point of
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
, both topics have significant benefits as much as people working in their duty.
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the overall structure of the essay, ensuring that there's a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow a logical sequence. Avoid repetitiveness and aim for a cohesive transitioning between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure you address the prompt fully by providing a balanced view with relevant, extended, and supported ideas. Your essay must have a clear position throughout, and it's important to cover all aspects of the task equally and in depth.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Job security
  • Stability
  • Expertise
  • Mastery
  • Career advancement
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Acquiring
  • Skills
  • Knowledge
  • Exploring
  • Career paths
  • Opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: