Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course in university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Nowadays the employment market is full of vacancies, where an educational degree can be either required or not even mentioned. It leads me to believe that employers are more oriented on personality traits and work
experience
. I personally think both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages, and individuals should consider their own goals and the requirements of their chosen field. On the one hand, a university education provides deep knowledge in specific fields which can be extremely important for certain professions
such
as medicine or law.
In
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From
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my point of view and personal
experience
studying
in
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at
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university gave me not only a degree but
also
unforgettable life training. It was the place where in the end I became self-disciplined,
communicative
Correct word choice
and communicative
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and
had
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apply
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developed strong personal skills. Taking into account the above, I would say that it opens doors to job opportunities and establishes credibility.
On the other hand
, most of the universities are expensive and can’t guarantee after graduation to have an advantage over the person, who already has work
experience
, but no diploma.
Furthermore
, our world has a lot of examples of famous people who managed to succeed without higher education
such
as Steve Jobs, Bill Gates or Henri Ford. It shows that if you have individual goals, career aspirations, or a talent nothing will stop you
to build
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from building
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your own business empire or
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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something great without a university degree. In conclusion, both paths can lead to successful careers, and the best choice depends on individual circumstances. Ultimately, a combination of education and
experience
can be a powerful combination, providing a well-rounded foundation for a successful career.
Submitted by nasty.4169 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a basic level of logical structure but could benefit from a clearer progression of ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs better.
Task Achievement
While you have presented both sides of the argument, the response could be more complete by directly addressing the degree to which you agree or disagree, which is a requirement of the task.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. General statements about university education and work experience should be underpinned by concrete examples to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, and that your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively. This will enhance the presence and impact of these critical paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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