IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The presented pie charts and table provide a comprehensive overview of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
policy
budget
Use synonyms
 for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. It is evident that for 2017 and 2018,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government were the primary source for
Use synonyms
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 and the most expenditure of the
budget
Use synonyms
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 for officers and staff.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 clear from the table that the highest amount of money
earn come
Wrong verb form
earned comes
show examples
 slightly stable from
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government, during
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
that periods
Change the determiner
that period
those periods
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 175,5m
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2017 and 177,8m
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2018. Local taxes
following as
Verb problem
are
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 source of
Use synonyms
budget
Add an article
the budget
a budget
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has a significant development amount from 91.2m
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2017
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 around 10
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 by 102.3m.
However
Linking Words
, other sources took part as less than 15%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total sources. Interestingly as
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the pie chart, how the
budget
Use synonyms
 spent accounted
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 for salaries to officers and staff,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
75%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2017 and 69%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2018. Meanwhile,
building’s
Correct article usage
the building’s
show examples
 spending at the same amount for the
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
show examples
 by 17%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least expenditure was only 8 % and 14%, respectively for Technology.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: