IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#schools #tablets #laptop #computers #students #school #books #materials #exams #assignments #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A rise in the ratio of using personal devices
instead
 of books and other stationary tools seems to be a subject of concern. Accessing and updating
students
 with up-to-the-minute technology would be considered to be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most welcoming merits which is assumed to lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of activity
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 youth age and high maintenance costs for authorities as
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
drawback. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
brand new information, every individual has found computers a
constractive
Correct your spelling
constructive
constrictive
 gadget.
This
 stems from the fact that
people
 can get
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 for which
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 search.
This
 feature is counted
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
significant advantage for
students
 in order to bring up their knowledge.
Although
 they might face some information not related to
this
 age, laptops help them to educate themselves in a short track of time. These devices,
likewise
, keep
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
 on
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
 news. Owing to the fact that the pace of technology growth is
alledged
Correct your spelling
alleged
show examples
 to be
unperidicted
Correct your spelling
unpredicted
,
people
 and more
specific
Change the word
specifically
show examples
students
 require to get
along with
this
 flow. The reason behind
this
 is that human life is
depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on upcoming
tecknology
Correct your spelling
technology
 and
this
 is the only approach to keep up with social life around the world.
Thus
, children and
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 are better
to learn
Change preposition
at learning
show examples
 how to use personal computers in schools by
experts
Change the noun form
expert
show examples
 guidance.
On the other hand
, it is
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
 that
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 improvement deteriorates
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 lifestyle and health, young
people
 are the essential case in
this
 point.
This
steams
Correct your spelling
stems
show examples
 from the possibility of less
strive
Wrong verb form
striving
show examples
 to achieve what
people
 demand.
For instance
, there are a
myrid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of activities being replaced through these devices
such
 as shopping, reading, and looking for articles, to name but a few.
Low key
Add a hyphen
Low-key
show examples
 activities potentially target
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 health and lead to physical and mental diseases including obesity, eye strain ,and stress.
Additionally
, the cost of
purches
Correct your spelling
purchases
purchase
 and maintenance services might be unaffordable for a school despite
governoment
Correct your spelling
government
 funding. having a pivotal role
golobaly
Correct your spelling
globally
, education demands
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
 of budget to serve
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 and
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 expectations.
Therefore
, providing numbers of PC would be
extravagante
Correct your spelling
extravagant
 and unreasonable. To encapsulate,
adhereing
Correct your spelling
adhering
 to the goal of having individual gadgets for
students
 has pros and cons. Easy and quick access to the upcoming resource of information would be
opitomi
Correct your spelling
epitome
 of
this
 subject
as well as
 unhealthy
routin
Correct your spelling
routine
 and budget deprivation as its repercussions.
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a logical structure that is easy to follow. Paragraphs should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences that elaborate on that idea. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas should be smooth and cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are vital parts of your essay. Both should be clearly identifiable with the introduction presenting the topic and the conclusion summarizing the main points and restating your position without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points must be supported by relevant explanations or examples. The connection between the point you are making and the support you provide should be explicit; this makes your argument stronger and your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your task response should address all parts of the task. Ensure you provide a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages and that your position is clear throughout the essay. The ideas should be developed adequately to meet the task requirement.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and should contribute directly to answering the essay question. Avoid general statements and strive for concrete, comprehensive explanations.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples should be relevant to the argument and should help to substantiate your claims. Ensure they're precise and directly related to the content of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive learning
  • Educational resources
  • Digital materials
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Investment
  • Distraction
  • Equality
  • Technology access
  • Technical issues
  • Prolonged use
  • Eye strain
  • Posture
What to do next:
Look at other essays: