IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Over time, it is commonly acknowledged that foreign
language
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 is significant. At the same time, many people start to
confuse
Wrong verb form
be confused
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whether
Change preposition
about whether
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children
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 studying a foreign
language
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 in secondary
school
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 is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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superior than they learn it in primary
school
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. Undeniably, it is widely believed that most
children
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 who are in secondary
school
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 have a better intellect and comprehension to acquire
knowledge
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 of
language
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.
This
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 could be attributed to older
children
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 already having learned
knowledge
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 of the original
language
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 many years
,
Rephrase
ago, such
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such
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 as spelling and grammar.
In addition
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, they ought to discover some method which is the rule of learning
language
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,
such
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 as the method of memorizing vocabulary.
Therefore
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,if older
children
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 learn a new
language
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 by using their experience of learning and some ways, it might be more efficient. On the one hand, most
children
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 who study in secondary schools learn foreign languages more quickly than primary
school
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students
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. The biggest benefit of studying other languages in primary
school
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 is new
language
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 might motivate
students
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'
brain
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 growth in the presence of their ages.
This
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 means is learning a foreign
language
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 is good for
children
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's brains, especially for young
children
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. An account of
this
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 is in the process of learning a new
language
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. Primary
school
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students
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 are more likely to stimulate the number of
brain
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 cells and trigger more sensitive
brain
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 nerves.
For example
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, in China, research has shown primary
school
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students
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 who already have studied fundamental English have a superior ability to understand and application of
knowledge
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 when they study in senior high schools. What's more,
this
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 phenomenon could be reflected in other subjects,
such
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 as math and biology.
On the other hand
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, from a physiological aspect,
students
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 who are in primary schools could reinforce their concentration through learning a foreign
language
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. To be specific,
students
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 ought to pay attention to
details
Correct article usage
the details
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 and rules of languages when they learn a new
language
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.
For instance
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, English is the main subject for Chinese
students
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. Primary
school
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students
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 need to learn the basic
knowledge
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 of English,
such
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 as word formation and analysis of word meanings, when they do these things, their concentration is
also
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 improved. Taking all these factors into consideration, it seems to me that I agree with
this
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 topic that the benefits of learning foreign in primary
school
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students
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'
brain
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 development, including the formation of nerve connections,
as well as
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 memories and concentration are increased.
This
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 is really good for
students
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' growth and cognition development.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear logical structure with well-organized paragraphs that each focus on a single main point. Avoid tangential information and make sure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next with appropriate use of cohesive devices.
introduction conclusion present
Restate the main topic in your introduction without copying the prompt verbatim, and provide a clear thesis statement. Make sure to readdress the thesis in the conclusion, summarizing the key points made in the essay.
supported main points
Make sure each paragraph supports the central argument with clear examples and explanations. Avoid general statements and strive to include specific, relevant information that directly supports your main points.
complete response
Ensure you fully respond to the prompt, addressing all parts of the task with adequate detail. Present a balanced view where required and do not veer off-topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should expand on the central argument with well-explained details, avoiding overly complex sentences or ambiguous statements.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. Make sure these examples are directly tied to your argument and contribute to illustrating your perspective on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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