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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20

The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20
#sources #air #pollutants #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
graph
Use synonyms
 shows the UK
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 source from 1990 until 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
graph
Use synonyms
, the major cause of toxicity in the atmosphere came from industrial production, but it has been drastically decreasing in the past few
years
Use synonyms
. The lowest pollutant source came from households and it has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slowly decreased in the past few
years
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
graph
Use synonyms
starting
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 in 1990 and the majority of the
air
Use synonyms
 pollutant that came from industrial production
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 over five
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
tons
Use synonyms
 but the sudden drop in the
graph
Use synonyms
 is in 1996 that since 1993 that has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased up to three
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
tons
Use synonyms
 of waste or around 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and slowly decreasing from 1999 until 2005.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the start of the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990
Add a comma
1990,
show examples
 the toxicity in the
air
Use synonyms
 from all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of transportation and household are starting exactly the same point at one
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 tonnes and it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 like the household has
produce
Change the verb form
produced
show examples
 less
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the past few
years
Use synonyms
, unlike the transporting system
that
Linking Words
is slowly increase
Change the verb form
slowly increases
show examples
 the small amount of
pollution
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pollution
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
in the
air
Use synonyms
. When all
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
combine
Change the verb form
combined
show examples
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 has significantly decreased in the area of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, from the starting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
total of nine
tons
Use synonyms
 in 1990, and it decreased to four
tons
Use synonyms
 in 1999, and
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to stay still later the
years
Use synonyms
 after.
Submitted by writersdiary101 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, air, pollution, years, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 3 times.
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