In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages fir young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies #fir

Youngsters

are provoke

Change the verb form

are provoked

are provoking

show examples

to do some job to get experience but some people believe that they should travel and enjoy their spare

time

before

further

studies. I will describe some pros

as well as

challenges

face

Wrong verb form

faced

show examples

by young adults. On the

one

hand, it is true that it is beneficial for students to get social exposure by doing any sort of work.

For instance

, if

one

begins their internship at an art gallery to establish skills to become a great artist in the future

then

it would definitely

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

wonderful experience for

one

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Furthermore

, taking a break for

one

year gives

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

enough

time

to actually think about their career choice and travelling as well. Many people think that young ones will get some acknowledgement through various positions of employment,

such

as boost their hidden talents and it can

also

bring them ideas of what their future aim to be. On the flip side, break sessions

while

travelling are refreshing and comforting. It brings the students out from their hectic routine but excessive indulgence in spending

time

through travel and enjoyment would lead them to be less motivated and productive.

Also

, some of them

stuck

Add a missing verb

are stuck

show examples

at a point with no advancement of career goals and forget their purpose in getting into university. In conclusion, a gap year is both beneficial and harmful for young people. It helps them learn more necessary skills and have the right direction for the future but it

also

wastes

time

and causes them to lose motivation to study. In my view, a gap year is a good choice if the young think clearly and plan carefully before deciding to do

this

Submitted by livelygirl127 on Sun Jan 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

You should have a clear logical structure throughout your essay, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Furthermore, it's crucial to have a strong topic sentence for each paragraph, which is followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that summarizes the main point.

task achievement

Make sure you address all parts of the task. The essay should clearly present advantages and disadvantages relating to the prompt, with at least one clear, relevant example supporting each. The conclusion should effectively summarize your main points. Avoid including any new ideas in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

277 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their to the countryside do you agree or disagree.
There is a paradigm that superseding massive business sites from the downtowns into the rural areas could diminish traffic and housing issues. I strongly argue with the proposed notion. In the following paragraphs, I will elucidate comprehensively about my consideration.
7
band
People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The way to punish the individuals who break public facilities is a topic people often discuss . Some communities argue they should serve the community by taking responsibility for their action, instead of paying the fine or even being sent to prison. To me, I believe both punishments have the function of vigilance so I partially agree with the statement and I will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
5
band
The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year. What do you think of this trend ?
There is no denying the fact that the main purpose of exams is arguable. While it is a commonly held belief that evaluating the student in a sustainable way would be better than examining them. From my perspective, I strongly believe that assessing pupils is more useful than testing them. This essay will shed light upon the reason why I believe this.
7
band
You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter • tell why you were speaking with the employee • describe the employee's rude behavior • explain what you'd like the manager to do
I, Anita Kumari: a regular customer of your renowned supermarket, am writing this letter to demonstrate my dishearted experience at your store.
6
band
People are using a lot of online language translation apps are the advantages more than the disadvantages of such services. Nowadays masses have been using huge range of web applications for translating languages.
Nowadays masses are using technology to translate languages online. In my opinion, I think there are more advantages than disadvantages to such app services if used with the right guidance.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages fir young people who decide to do this.

Fully explain your ideas

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their to the countryside do you agree or disagree.

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year. What do you think of this trend ?

You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter • tell why you were speaking with the employee • describe the employee's rude behavior • explain what you'd like the manager to do

People are using a lot of online language translation apps are the advantages more than the disadvantages of such services. Nowadays masses have been using huge range of web applications for translating languages.