IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #challenges #people #face #countries #▪️summarise #features #comparisons
The bar graph provides information about 3 different integration challenges faced
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
people
 who go live abroad. Three age groups were considered in
this
analyses
Fix the agreement mistake
analysis
show examples
. Concerning the challenge related to learning
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 language, more than half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 over 55 years old suffered
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
 aspect, which is represented by 54%.
On the other hand
, 29% of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 population around 18-34 years old struggled with the learning process. Other aspects observed in the graph were making friends and finding somewhere to live. Elder
people
 considerably suffered less the other groups. Just 22%
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 difficulties in finding a place to live and 23%
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
making
Change preposition
from making
show examples
 friends.
However
, 18-34 and 35-54 groups showed more than 36% facing these integration challenges.
Overall
, young
people
had easiness learning
Wrong verb form
easily learn
show examples
local
Add an article
a local
the local
show examples
 language when they move abroad, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living
hardship
Change preposition
in hardship
show examples
 in other aspects.
In contrast
 to elderly
people
, who had rough times speaking a new language.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: