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Band 4.5

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

#countries #people #right #vote
There is a movement among
young
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the young
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 generation in some countries in which they are relinquishing
of
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apply
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their right to vote in the elections.
In
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From
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 a social
perspective
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perspective,
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 it can be faced as a problem that brings hard consequences to countries and their democracy. First of all, it is important to understand the bond between democracy, and the role that each citizen develops in the society. A possible reason that can explain young people not talking about politics or not giving the right importance to
this
 can be the lack of awareness and any global understanding about the connection
of
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between
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 politics and their private lives. Unfortunately,
this
 movement is getting worse in many countries.
For instance
, years ago, youths in Brazil were following the same trend to avoid talking about politics or not going to vote, minimizing the importance of elections.
As a result
, at that moment, an unpopular president was chosen and the society had to face a bleak period during his mandate. A good way to avoid similar situations is
working
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to work
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 hard on education. Political education can be offered in educational institutions, through mass media and at home. Talking about our role as part of a community, understanding that
butterfly
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the butterfly
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 effect (theory that explains that small actions have non-linear impacts on a complex system) takes place in
this
 panorama and taking lessons with historical facts can avoid hard times and bad choices.
To conclude
, the absence of political education and lack of information are some reasons that can cause distancing by young generations from elections and
vote
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voting
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. To void it, it is essential
keep
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to keep
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 them informed and aware
about
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of
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 their role as part of
the
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apply
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society.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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structure
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development
Expand on your main points by providing more detailed examples and explanations, rather than making general statements.
cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to ensure that the flow of ideas is smooth and logical from one sentence to another, and from one paragraph to the next.
task response
Fully address all parts of the task. You did mention problems and solutions related to young people not voting, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited.
language
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to clearly express your ideas and add precision to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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