IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #history
History has so many
stories
 to tell and
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by
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apply
show examples
study
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help us better
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
understand what actions we will take for the present and future. Meanwhile, certain people
doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
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 agree with that statement. There are some valid reasons for both sides which I will consider now. First and foremost,
stories
 that are contained in the past can bring valuable lessons to us who are in the present. If we can learn those
stories
, I believe that we can know what
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
 we will take in the present times. The past that
tell
Change the verb form
tells
show examples
 about monetary
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
, including recess phenomena, can tell what will happen if we take an action that
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 same as
the
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in the
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 past,
for instance
.
As an
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An
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overall
, history can give so many lessons and
stories
 that can give advantages to us who are in the present and
for
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to
show examples
 future generations.
Although
 history can bring us many valuable lessons, the past can’t always tell us what should we do if we
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 the same problems. I personally think it is because
the
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of the
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 different decades with the present
so
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apply
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that the
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
 step can
also
 be different
than
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from
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 the past.
For example
,
the
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in the
show examples
 20th century
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost everything is digital,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 the market can be accessed in digital versions, which can be different from the past where there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 no market in digital versions so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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market problems can’t be solved by reminiscing from the past.
This
 means that not every
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
events
Change to a singular noun
event
show examples
 in the past can be acceptable in the present or even in the future.
Overall
, in my opinion, there are advantages and disadvantages
for
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to
show examples
 studying the past to choose the actions in the present.
The
Correct article usage
An
show examples
 example of the advantage of studying the past is that the past can help solve some problems in the present. Meanwhile, the disadvantage is that not all of the problem in the past has the same conditions in the present.
Submitted by amaliasekar30 on

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introduction
Your essay lacks a clear and strong introduction. Make sure to express the essay's topic and your thesis statement clearly.
body paragraph
Your main points need to be better developed with more detailed reasons and clearer topic sentences.
examples
You should provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion did not effectively summarize your main points or restate your opinion clearly.
cohesion
Ensure you have logical connectors and transition words to guide the reader clearly from one point to another.
paragraphing
Organize your ideas more logically into distinct paragraphs, each with a single clear main idea.
task response
To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views equally and stating your own opinion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and express your ideas more precisely.
grammar
Pay attention to verb tenses, agreement, and sentence structure to improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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