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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie charts illustrate the consumption of typical meals’ nutrients including
sodium
, saturated fat and added
sugar
 which
are affected
Verb problem
apply
show examples
negatively for human consumption in the USA.
Overall
, United States residents tend to use
similar
Add an article
a similar
the similar
show examples
 proportion of nutrients mentioned above in their breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.
However
, the consumption of
sodium
 and saturated fat
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more allocated in dinner.
First,
in terms of breakfast fast,
sodium
 and saturated fats are less consumed than other meals which are 19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 21
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively,
however
, the usage of added
sugar
 is
accounted
Replace the word
accounts
show examples
 for 42
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is 2 times higher than sugars in other meals.
Moreover
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
US citizens tend to use
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
 with less
sugar
 at 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is the lowest
sugar
 usage compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three meals.
Secondly
, the proportion of
sodium
 in lunch is 29
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which is the highest nutrient compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two unhealthy substances,
however
, lunch is the healthiest choice for the people of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
.
Conversely
, dinner is
accounted
Replace the word
accounts
show examples
 for most unhealthy food which
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 43
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
sodium
, 37
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of saturated fat, and 23
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of added
sugar
.
Submitted by zayashdee on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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