Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views
Some individuals think that playing
games
on the computer lead
to numerous drawbacks for minors Change the verb form
leads
especially
on their health and social skills, Add the comma(s)
, especially
meanwhile
others feel that it has a beneficial impact. In Add a comma
meanwhile,
this
essay, i
will discuss both viewpoints and give my opinion. Change the capitalization
I
Firstly
, i
will explore Change the capitalization
I
computer
Rephrase
how computer
games
leading
to children’s illness and aggression moving forward, Wrong verb form
lead
i
will consider the other Change the capitalization
I
advantage
of playing Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
games
.
To begin
with, nowadays there is an increase on
computer game’s popularity. Especially in minors which Change preposition
in
affect
the child’s health, Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
further
causing serious problems for their body. For example
, the constant reflection of blue light on computer’s
screen will reduce their Correct article usage
a computer’s
eyesights
. It soon makes them use prescription glasses to be able to see normally. Fix the agreement mistake
eyesight
Furthermore
, aggression on
Change preposition
in
childrens
become popular since they get Correct your spelling
children
children's
exposure
to violent online Replace the word
exposed
games
since childhood that
makes the children numb to violence and will imitate the act of violence. Aggression will obviously affect youth’s upbringing to those closest to them.
Correct pronoun usage
which
On the other hand
, youngsters will getting
experience in computers and IT. Which will obviously affect the youth’s future development as technology Change the verb form
get
be getting
became
part of daily life. To illustrate, children who have knowledge Wrong verb form
becomes
in
computers Change preposition
of
wil
have Correct your spelling
will
better
understanding Add an article
a better
in
technology, and will effectively operate them. Change preposition
of
In addition
, playing in
their PC will offer them quick thinking and Change preposition
on
problem solving
ability. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
Exemplar
, when playing strategic Replace the word
Example
games
such
as role-playing and battle, it prepare
players to make smart decisions, as to avoid downfall that Change the verb form
prepares
lead
to game over.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
leads
younger
generation should opt for outdoor activity, as it will train their social ability and Add an article
the younger
rise
their awareness of their environment.Correct your spelling
raise
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use clear paragraphs, linking words, and transitions to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Include both an Introduction and Conclusion that clearly reflect the content of the essay and the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations. Each viewpoint should be explored with relevant support.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay should discuss both views on the impact of computer games and make them equally comprehensive.
task achievement
Elaborate on ideas to ensure they are detailed and fully developed. Avoid vague statements; instead, provide clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. General statements are less effective than those supported by data, anecdotes, or research.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.