Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views

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Some individuals think that playing
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on the computer
lead
Change the verb form
leads

The verb lead does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to numerous drawbacks for minors
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter especially on their health and social skills. Consider adding the comma(s).

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on their health and social skills,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase meanwhile. Consider adding a comma.

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others feel that it has a beneficial impact. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will discuss both viewpoints and give my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will explore
computer
Rephrase
how computer

There may be an adverb issue here.

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games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

leading
Wrong verb form
lead

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb leading. Consider changing it.

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to children’s illness and aggression moving forward,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will consider the other
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages

It seems that advantage may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of playing
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, nowadays there is an increase
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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computer game’s popularity. Especially in minors which
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects

It seems that the verb affect does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the child’s health,
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

causing serious problems for their body.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the constant reflection of blue light on
computer’s
Correct article usage
a computer’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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screen will reduce their
eyesights
Fix the agreement mistake
eyesight

It seems that eyesights may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. It soon makes them use prescription glasses to be able to see normally.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, aggression
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's

If you don’t want childrens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

become popular since they get
exposure
Replace the word
exposed

The word exposure doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to violent online
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

since childhood
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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makes the children numb to violence and will imitate the act of violence. Aggression will obviously affect youth’s upbringing to those closest to them.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, youngsters will
getting
Change the verb form
get
be getting

The verb getting after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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experience in computers and IT. Which will obviously affect the youth’s future development as technology
became
Wrong verb form
becomes

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb became. Consider changing it.

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part of daily life. To illustrate, children who have knowledge
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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computers
wil
Correct your spelling
will

If you don’t want wil to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have
better
Add an article
a better

The noun phrase better understanding seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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understanding
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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technology, and will effectively operate them.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, playing
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their PC will offer them quick thinking and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving

It appears that problem solving is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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ability.
Exemplar
Replace the word
Example

The word Exemplar doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, when playing strategic
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as role-playing and battle, it
prepare
Change the verb form
prepares

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb prepare are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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players to make smart decisions, as to avoid downfall that
lead
Change the verb form
leads

The plural verb lead does not appear to agree with the singular subject downfall. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to game over. In conclusion,
younger
Add an article
the younger

The noun phrase younger generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation should opt for outdoor activity, as it will train their social ability and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise

The word rise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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their awareness of their environment.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use clear paragraphs, linking words, and transitions to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Include both an Introduction and Conclusion that clearly reflect the content of the essay and the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations. Each viewpoint should be explored with relevant support.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay should discuss both views on the impact of computer games and make them equally comprehensive.
task achievement
Elaborate on ideas to ensure they are detailed and fully developed. Avoid vague statements; instead, provide clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. General statements are less effective than those supported by data, anecdotes, or research.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Obesity
  • Social Isolation
  • Aggression
  • Academic performance
  • Gaming addiction
  • Cognitive skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Stress relief
  • Cultural awareness
  • Social interaction
  • Multitasking
  • Virtual worlds
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Teamwork
  • Digital literacy
  • Innovative technology
  • E-sports
  • Moderation
  • Parental supervision
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