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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You will take a short holiday in London next month and would like to spend some time with a friend who lives there. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •Tell him when you will be in London and why •Ask him for recommendations of what to do there •Suggest some things you can do together You should write at least 150 words You do NOT need to write any addresses

#holiday #london #month #time #friend #lives #•tell #•ask #recommendations #•suggest #addresses
Dear Jatin, I hope you are doing well in London. It's been a
while
 since we met each other. Actually, I am writing
this
 letter to let you know about next month, I have
a plans
Correct the article-noun agreement
plans
a plan
show examples
 to visit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your city for
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 vacation and spend some
time
 with each other. As you know,
This
 is my first
time
 in London and I am really curious to explore your city and
spend
Verb problem
have
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 good
time
 with you. You can give me some advice
where
Change preposition
about where
show examples
 should I visit and what kind of
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
we can do together. I am
also
 keen to do some
adventures
Replace the word
adventurous
show examples
 sports with you like water sports and paragliding.
Moreover
, we can
do
Correct your spelling
go
show examples
 camping
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
 of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 where we can recall our precious school memories. I hope you will make some good planning for my visit and will
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 plenty of
time
 with each other. I will wait for your response. Best Regards, Jass
Submitted by Jatinderjass.jj on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and stick with it throughout the paragraph. Some paragraphs may benefit from a better focus on a single topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance readability.
task achievement
Addressing each bullet point with sufficient detail is crucial. Expand your response to adequately cover why you will be in London, which was only briefly mentioned.
task achievement
Keep the tone consistent and appropriate to the context of a personal letter to a friend; the register you've used here is mostly suitable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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