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Band 5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology
In
this
 modern world, people have different views that the traditional
culture
 may disappear
due to
 the progress in technology. Personally, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement. I am going to discuss my view
according to
 educational, social, and economic perspectives. Following traditional
culture
 is difficult for teenagers these days.
Nevertheless
, using technology to present their
culture
 is more interesting because if teachers use creative ways to explain the values of our community, they would not feel bored and they will listen carefully to the instructions. It is advisable to put our efforts into using artificial intelligence to spread our values and habits, in order to keep it for all generations.
Moreover
, using social media is very useful to keep connected with
culture
 because most people from different countries use it.
Although
 following trends on it sometimes
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
damage, most of the videos were about different cultures. Take the TikTok program
for example
, a wide range of people share their videos which contain fashion, clothing, and eating habits.
In addition
, using
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is important for the tourism sector.
For instance
, it is an easy way to represent information about
culture
 for tourists. In conclusion, I believe that technology and
culture
 can be both together.
Submitted by juhinaalqartoubi on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is elaborated upon with sufficient detail. Avoid vague statements and support your points with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focused on a distinct aspect of the argument. Introduction and conclusion should bookend the essay, and their content must be clearly distinct from the body.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of connectors and cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. This not only aids in the flow of the essay but also shows a good command of language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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