Most adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
These days, adults tend to spend their leisure
time
to play
computer Change the verb form
playing
games
than
other activities. Actually, it is not Rephrase
rather than
certainly
that as we claim, Change the word
certain
this
brings advantages or disadvantages for adults. Hence
, I will clarify both sides of this
issue in this
essay.
First of all, playing computer games
still have
some benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
has
assisting
people in our lives. Almost Change preposition
in assisting
games
in the world nowadays, their subtitle Correct determiner usage
all games
is
international languages. Correct your spelling
in
Hence
, it gets attention from players around the world and this
makes distance
between users shorter. Add an article
the distance
For instance
, they can enjoy this
Correct determiner usage
these
games
with someone that entirely
stranger, not only chatting but Add a missing verb
is entirely
also
talking with
many Change preposition
in
difference
languages and thanks Replace the word
different
for
it, we can Change preposition
to
also
upgrade the language levels and make friends with more people whole
world. Correct article usage
the whole
Besides
, after working and studying in
a long day, people can remove Change preposition
for
stressful
and Replace the word
stress
tired
by playing Replace the word
tiredness
games
.
However
, this
should not happen regularly on a basis, if the frequency of playing games
cannot be controlled by the users, it will lead to some bad statuses. First,
the players will be attempted by games
and we will lack of
focus. Remove the preposition
apply
Due to
in their minds, they just think about these and will find out some steps just to have much time
for playing games
. After that, they cannot concentrate on their studies and works
with a hundred of their powers and their performances Correct subject-verb agreement
work
will
tend to be bad. Not only their results but Verb problem
apply
also
their healths
, because they spend all Fix the agreement mistake
health
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
on
playing, so they do not have enough Change preposition
apply
time
to take care of themselves. It results in a lack of nutrition and causes many sicknesses.
In conclusion, every individual should manage their entertainment time
efficiently, because any habit can have many impacts involving
good or bad that Verb problem
apply
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
on
our lives.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Develop comprehensive paragraphs that each revolve around a single clear idea, ensuring that there is a logical flow from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skillfully. Ensure that ideas are not only presented but also expanded on with explanations and examples.
task achievement
You should cover all parts of the question thoroughly. Both parts of the prompt should be addressed equally and with sufficient detail.
task achievement
When providing examples, make sure to elaborate and tie them back to the main point being made. Avoid making general statements without supporting details.
task achievement
Work on your grammatical range and accuracy. There should be fewer errors with complex structures and more variety in sentence construction.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example