IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the change in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed and opened in a country throughout the
period
Use synonyms
 between 2011 and 2018. The amounts of
Use synonyms
shops closure
Fix the agreement mistake
shop closures
show examples
 went slightly down throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, starting from more than 6,500
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2011 to around 5,000 in 2018. The figures fluctuated with a peak at more than 7,000 in 2013,
however
Linking Words
, after that, the
number
Use synonyms
 went down and plummetted to
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 at 800 in 2015. The opening
Use synonyms
shops
Change to a genitive case
shop's
shops'
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 decreased from the highest at 8,500
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to less than 4,000 in the following year, but the figure climbed up to around 6,000 in 2014, reaching the same
number
Use synonyms
 of shop
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the year. After that, the
opening
Correct quantifier usage
number of opening
show examples
Use synonyms
shops
Change to a genitive case
shop's
shops'
show examples
 amount dropped again, ending at 3,000 in 2018,
although
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of opening
stores
Use synonyms
 remained steady for 2 years
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2015 to 2017 at around 4,000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
stores
Use synonyms
 opening and closing both dropped during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2018, where the closing
stores
Use synonyms
 were more than opening
stores
Use synonyms
 in most years, except for the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2014 to 2016.
Submitted by wuujenna on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, period, stores with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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