The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

The development of social
media
has a big affected on
connections's
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connections between
show examples
people
and society as a whole.
This
writer believes that the benefits of keeping in touch with
others
and the convenience of social
media
outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of lacking experience. The
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
advantage of using social
media
is that it can communicate with
others
all over the world.
In other words
,
people
can meet their old
friend
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friends
show examples
on the phone or
in
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on
show examples
social
media
without finding them in their lives.
According to
the statistics, the main reason for
people
to use social
media
is
connectconnect
Replace the word
to connect
show examples
with their friends who have special relationships with
others
.
Moreover
,
convenient
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convenience
show examples
is
also
the reason why many
people
like to use it. Because it has many functions in our life. Many
people
can access more information
in
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on
show examples
the Internet. They
also
text message
others
to remind or share a lot of moments.
For example
, with COVID-19, everyone can't go out of their home so they use social
media
to access information about the problem and call
others
to ask about their health and their situation. There was,
however
, a large number of
people
who felt that social
media
was unnecessary. Because they think social networking sites just have many interesting things.
This
causes
people
will become addicted to the internet, they still stay at home and do not go out and they will not have many experiences in real life. They will lead to many problems in the future. In short, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
social
media
has many benefits in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
such
as improving
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and easily getting news.
People
also
depend on it too much because it can cause addicted
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction does not clearly state the advantages and disadvantages of social media, which are crucial to setting up a structured argument for this type of essay. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points that will be discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main points in your essay need to be more distinct and developed. Dedicate separate paragraphs to discussing one clear advantage or disadvantage of social media, providing relevant examples to support each point.
Task Response
To achieve a higher score, your essay should provide a balanced view that explores both sides of the argument in depth. Make sure each paragraph contributes to this discussion and relates back to the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs. This will aid the reader in understanding the logical flow of your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the points made and reflects back on the thesis, giving a clear final thought on the balance between advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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