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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie chart
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people of both genders arrested in the period 1989 to 1994,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart indicates the most common motives
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 imprisons.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the percentage of men being arrested was greater
that
Change preposition
than that
show examples
Change preposition
of woman
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the prime
reason
Use synonyms
 was the same for both genders, which was public driving.
To begin
Linking Words
 with males, the paramount cause of arrests was public driving, accounting for more than a third.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
drink
Wrong verb form
drunk
show examples
 driving made up more than a quarter of the motives.
While
Linking Words
 breach of order, assault and theft constituted approximately 16% each, 'other
reason
Use synonyms
' was a base of slightly less than 20% of arrests.
Above all
Linking Words
, there was no answer for around 4% of imprisons. As far
women
Change preposition
as women
show examples
, the prime
reason
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 public driving,
however
Linking Words
, it accounted for about 8% more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 for men.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second most common cause was assault, which made up roughly 17%, and
also
Linking Words
 'other
reason
Use synonyms
', being almost equal to it. Despite these, theft, breach of order and
drink
Wrong verb form
drunk
show examples
 driving formed about a tenth each,
whereas
Linking Words
 there was no answer for more than 5% of the reasons.
Submitted by gabadlugo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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