Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
privacy
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of the influencer or famous
people
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is not a public consumption for some
people
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.
However
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, it has been debated whether the media think that the private
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life
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lives
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of celebrities are interesting. In my opinion, I agree that every human
deserve
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deserves
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to have
privacy
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regardless of their public status. First of all,
privacy
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as
Correct your spelling
is
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a basic human right that
need
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needs
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to be protected and respected. Celebrities
also
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need their private space
for enjoying
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to enjoy
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their
life
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like normal
people
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. As we can see, most
of
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apply
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celebrities decide to hide the identity and the face of their children to protect them from paparazzi that can spread their child's personal data.
For example
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, if the
photo's
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photos
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of their kids
leaks
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leak
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to the internet, it will be easy to make them
as
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apply
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the target of crimes.
Consequently
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, it is better
for protecting
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to protect
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their private
life
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to secure their family.
Second,
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mental
health
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becomes another serious issue
due to
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the
privacy
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of famous
people
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. Constant media scrutiny can have destructive effects on their mental
health
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.
Besides
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leading them to stress, becoming public
interests
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interest
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can affect their anxiety level.
For instance
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, some
celebrity
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celebrities
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prefer not to post any
feed
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feeds
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about their private
life
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and avoid
to read
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reading
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comments on their social
media's
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media
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feed
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feeds
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.
Furthermore
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, they are afraid to read
harras
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harsh
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comments about them.
This
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shows that
privacy
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invasion
lead
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leads
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to some detrimental effects on their mental
health
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.
To Sum up
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, I totally agree that every human in
this
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world
deserve
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deserves
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some protection in their private
life
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. Especially, famous
people
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that become public persona. Not only because
privacy
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is a basic human right, but
also
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protecting
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because protecting
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privacy
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means preserving their mental
health
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.
Submitted by Hahahihi on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear stance throughout your essay. While your essay presented a consistent opinion about the importance of privacy for celebrities, some parts could be more directly linked to the question prompt. Remember to directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. You might consider improving transitions between your main points and ensure that your argumentation is clear and follows a more natural progression. Consider the use of topic sentences and make sure each main body paragraph maintains a clear focus.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
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