IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using sociak media for commucation outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #sociak #commucation
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The social
Correct article usage
Social
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media
Use synonyms
rising
Verb problem
apply
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has social and personal relationships
affect
Verb problem
apply
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as a whole.
This
Linking Words
 writer argues that the advantage of getting in touch easily is overshadowed by the drawbacks of lack
Change preposition
of face-to-ace
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face-to-ace
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
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 communication and
get
Verb problem
apply
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distraction. The foremost benefit of using social
media
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world can contact each other easier and more
efficiency
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efficiently
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. Before the invention of technology like social
media
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 used to write letters to talk to another person
in
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at
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 a far distance, but it took a long period for receivers to get the mail.
However
Linking Words
, individuals can communicate more
efficiency
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efficiently
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 just by a few
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
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 to type and send, on the other side, receivers can get it within a second. Take a look
from Covid-19
Correct your spelling
at the COVID-19
 pandemic, citizens were forbidden from going out by the local distancing rule, social
media
Use synonyms
 played a vital role in bringing everyone together.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
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 of communicating through social
media
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 is
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of face-to-face talk. Because of the innovation of smartphones, individuals can video call their relatives and friends,
however
Linking Words
, if they rely on them too much, they could easily lose their relationships because they don’t have “physical interaction”.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a company want to cooperate with other companies, they would have a meeting rather than sitting in a room and
call
Wrong verb form
calling
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 each other. Another drawback
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 be considered is getting
distraction
Replace the word
distracted
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the
Change preposition
from the
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 work. Many
people
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, especially students, are distracted from their studies because of chatting, it is now providing them to make lots of relationships with various
people
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. Having
wide
Add an article
a wide
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 range of friends all around you could be good but don’t let them affect your life and work. In conclusion, using social
media
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 to communicate is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to get in touch with others but it
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 outweighed by the lack of face-to-face interaction and
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
distraction.
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coherence cohesion
The essay does not adequately adhere to the standards of the IELTS writing tasks in terms of grammatical range, lexical resource, or clarity. It is crucial that the writing be well-structured with logical sequencing of ideas, varied sentence structures, and proper use of vocabulary to achieve cohesiveness and coherence. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and summarise the main points effectively.
task achievement
Task achievement could be improved by directly addressing the essay prompt, ensuring all parts are fully answered, and providing specific examples that are fully developed. Aim to present a clear position throughout the response, with cohesive arguments supporting this position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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