IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The rise of social media has affected personal relationsips and societ as a whole. Do the ad vatages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationsips #societ #ad #vatages #communication
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The growing number of social
media
Use synonyms
 has a big impact on social relationships.
This
Linking Words
 writer believes that better connectivity in communicating can not outweigh the drawbacks
less
Change preposition
of less
show examples
 quality
time
Use synonyms
 and fuels functional impairments.
To begin
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 with, excessive social
media
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 use can negatively impact
people
Use synonyms
’s significant
time
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. As
spending
Verb problem
they spend
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time
Use synonyms
 entertaining too much, they will not have much
time
Use synonyms
 talking or hanging out with friends so there would be a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their quality relationships.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lack of
time
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 for exercising will be notable when the obesity rate
rose
Wrong verb form
rises
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 sharply
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 internet usage.
For example
Linking Words
, a 2021 study on Instagram established that most young
people
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
 platform more than half of the day.
Therefore
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,
this
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 is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 dissatisfaction,
conflict
Correct word choice
and conflict
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 from enjoying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 virtual space. Another point to consider is
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
show examples
 functional impairments via social
media
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. With the existence of platforms worldwide, face-to-face communication is no longer necessary in
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 current life.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to more social anxiety and worse experiences in a conversation.
For instance
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, several investigations depict a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 who feel uncomfortable or unable to
for
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apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
engage in face-to-face relationships,
while
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 there is a replacement
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
person
Replace the word
personal
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 interactions with social
media
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instead
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.
However
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, social
media
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 could be utilized to
boots
Correct your spelling
boost
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 connectivity.
If the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
ling
Verb problem
living
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 far from home or even in another country would have the ability to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their family through numerous apps or websites. Take Facebook as an example. These
people
Use synonyms
 can always post updates about
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 or their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 so others can easily know.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the flexibility of Messenger would provide ways for them to chat in
real-
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
time
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,
further
Linking Words
 helping them feel more connected. In conclusion, the pros of having better connectivity in communicating can not have
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
show examples
 to overshadow these cons like
time
Use synonyms
 shortage and even worse social skills.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly present your main argument and summarise your overall view respectively.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using a range of cohesive devices and clear paragraphing.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples and data to support your arguments, ensuring that these are directly related to the question prompt.
complete response
Fully address the question prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively, using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
To improve your task achievement score, make sure to integrate relevant examples that are specific, accurate, and enhance your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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