The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicaton outweigh the disadvantage?

In the modern era, social
media
's development has many influences on the personal relationships between
people
and
people
. The writer believes that the advantages of social
media
, including global contact and educational sites through many websites, will surpass the drawbacks of
this
norm. On the one hand,
people
can globally connect with their relatives or friends without worrying about the distance. Indeed,
due to
the significant development of technology, particularly the Internet, there are a variety of apps that have been invented which are very useful and simple for citizens.
For instance
, Facebook
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
consists of 2,4 billion users who can choose a variety of ways to communicate with their friend or their families.
As a result
, using social
media
provides
people
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
useful and convenient environment, especially for individuals living at far distances to connect with others. Another benefit is that students can study through many social networking websites. Duolingo is a prime example, where students learn a foreign language by themselves with some experts and they can get some extra homework to practice after every lesson.
Moreover
, there are a lot of learning groups in some apps
such
as Facebook or Zalo, which are free for everybody to access to these online classes.
Therefore
, students can get knowledge to fill the gap in their brain more easily, and
also
they can have some enhanced material, which will help them achieve their goals far more easily. In terms of education, there is no doubt that social
media
provides
people
with an environment to study more effectively.
However
, some critics argue that these social apps replace face-to-face communication. Nowadays, society is becoming dominant,appealing and attractive to citizens, which is getting ahead to become the best place for
people
to have a word with others.
Furthermore
, social
media
is
also
a toxic environment, which is very harmful for young
people
, especially children. Because there are a few rules, so
people
always break these rules to entertain
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
such
as
Change preposition
by giving
show examples
giving
Change preposition
by giving
show examples
others criticism.
In other words
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
prefer living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
virtual life, so it will make them become more aggressive and anti-social. In conclusion, using social
media
brings citizens some negative effects.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
I believe that the benefits of
this
norm will undermine the drawbacks of
this
phenomenon.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure the essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of social media, and provide a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by creating a more logical flow of ideas, using appropriate linking words, and maintaining paragraph themes without introducing unrelated topics.
task achievement
Support main points with relevant, specific examples. General statements should be minimized, and the argument should be enhanced with clear, concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors and awkward constructions to ensure clarity and precision in communication.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: