Some people argue that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet, while others believe that governments should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #diet #governments

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In these modern days, everyone is busy

Change preposition

with

show examples

their jobs and studies,

health

issues are

increacing

Correct your spelling

increasing

at an

arlaming

Correct your spelling

alarming

rate in many societies around the world. Some

people

argue that governments should take care of their

health

and diet. I strongly disagree with that view and

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

it is individuals'

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

. First of all, there is no doubt that if we have any

health

issues, we are the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

who suffer from these problems.

People

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

and

studies

Replace the word

study

show examples

round the clock every day and

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

attention to their

health

. In these cases, they will cut their meals or

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

to have fast food as their meals

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

McDonald

Change noun form

McDonald's

show examples

, KFC and Burger King, these foods serve in a shorter time but they are unhealthy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are high

calories

Change preposition

in calories

show examples

and oily food. In the course of time, they consume a lot of

harzadous

Correct your spelling

hazardous

to their

health

and insufficient

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nutrient

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrients

show examples

, it may cause stroke, heart attack and obesity.

According to

Forbes, only 28% of Americans are meeting physical

acticity

Correct your spelling

activity

guidelines,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means more than 70% of

people

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack of doing exercise. On

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

show examples

, the

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

show examples

that can be taken by governments are limited, but they still have some

approach

Fix the agreement mistake

approaches

show examples

that can be carried out. Government can promote awareness to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

to let them know the importance of

keeping

Verb problem

maintaining

show examples

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of our body.

Besides

, related

department

Fix the agreement mistake

departments

show examples

can conduct some camps or

speechs

Correct your spelling

speech

speeches

at schools or communities.

Therefore

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

can learn more about

food

Add an article

the food

show examples

pyramid,

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of nutrition that they should consume and the amount of exercise they should be done in a day.

However

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can only

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

advise

Replace the word

advice

show examples

and

encouraging

Wrong verb form

encourage

show examples

their

people

, it still

depending

Wrong verb form

depends

show examples

on themselves. Taking everything into a nutshell, prevention is better than cure,

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

is belongs

Change the verb form

belongs

show examples

to us, we cannot expect others to help us keep fit,

Correct word choice

and we

show examples

need to take action before we suffer from any

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

or illness.

At the end

of the day, we are the only

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

who can take

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibility

responsibilities

Change preposition

for

show examples

our

health

Submitted by sientan04 on Mon Jan 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Present clear positions throughout the response, ensuring that opinions or suggested solutions are relevant to the question asked. Consider both views equally before providing a balanced conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing accurately and appropriately. Establish clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure a smooth flow and progression of ideas through logical sequencing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In today’s world, it is obvious that tourism generates income for countries around the world. However, differences between cultures could contribute less understanding and increase stress between tourists and locals. For my view, I strongly disagree with this statement because cultural diversity is interesting for travelers and they are keen to explore it. In addition, there are massive information resources available from the internet about cultures and customs to guide travelers before they visit the country.
8
band
When researching people's personalities and abilities, scientists debate the role that their biological genes play compared to the impact of their environment, including their experiences as they grow up. Which do you think is a more powerful influence– genetics or environment? Why?
People's personalities and abilities play a vital role in enhancing communication among people. Based on some studies from scholars, they found that there are two sides to this phenomenon: first, peer genotypes play a vital role in their personalities, while the other debate is that several people are influenced by the environment in addition to their experience. From my perspective, I believe that each individual has their own circumstances, and both of them are important. This essay will exhibit why each person is different from the other in this case.
6.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In numerous countries in the world, settlements prefer to live in a city rather than the countryside,due to this fact the population beyond the city is decreasing. In my opinion, this statement has a negative impact on the population,however,a positive impact on the economy .
4.5
band
Most adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
These days, adults tend to spend their leisure time to play computer games than other activities. Actually, it is not certainly that as we claim, this brings advantages or disadvantages for adults. Hence, I will clarify both sides of this issue in this essay.
7
band
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50persent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?
The question of whether firms ought to reserve some positions for females, since some of these posts are offered to men although half of the workforce in most modernized nations is filled by women, has sparked a considerable debate. While many advocate for this, which I firmly agree with, others argue against it. Analyzing the opportunities for equal careers, as well as removing bias from offices, will give a comprehensive overview of the subject matter.

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet, while others believe that governments should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

When researching people's personalities and abilities, scientists debate the role that their biological genes play compared to the impact of their environment, including their experiences as they grow up. Which do you think is a more powerful influence– genetics or environment? Why?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Most adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50persent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?