Some people argue that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet, while others believe that governments should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In these modern days, everyone is busy
on
their jobs and studies, Change preposition
with
health
issues are increacing
at an Correct your spelling
increasing
arlaming
rate in many societies around the world. Some Correct your spelling
alarming
people
argue that governments should take care of their health
and diet. I strongly disagree with that view and belive
it is individuals' Correct your spelling
believe
responsibilities
.
First of all, there is no doubt that if we have any Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
health
issues, we are the one
who suffer from these problems. Correct pronoun usage
ones
People
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
works
and Correct subject-verb agreement
work
studies
round the clock every day and Replace the word
study
lost
attention to their Wrong verb form
lose
health
. In these cases, they will cut their meals or chose
to have fast food as their meals Wrong verb form
choose
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
McDonald
, KFC and Burger King, these foods serve in a shorter time but they are unhealthyChange noun form
McDonald's
,
because Remove the comma
apply
it
are high Correct pronoun usage
they
calories
and oily food. In the course of time, they consume a lot of Change preposition
in calories
harzadous
to their Correct your spelling
hazardous
health
and insufficient of
Change preposition
apply
nutrient
, it may cause stroke, heart attack and obesity. Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
According to
Forbes, only 28% of Americans are meeting physical acticity
guidelines, Correct your spelling
activity
that
means more than 70% of Correct pronoun usage
which
people
were
lack of doing exercise.
On Unnecessary verb
apply
contrary
, the Correct article usage
the contrary
action
that can be taken by governments are limited, but they still have some Fix the agreement mistake
actions
approach
that can be carried out. Government can promote awareness to Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
public
to let them know the importance of Add an article
the public
keeping
Verb problem
maintaining
health
of our body. Add an article
the health
Besides
, related department
can conduct some camps or Fix the agreement mistake
departments
speechs
at schools or communities. Correct your spelling
speech
speeches
Therefore
, public
can learn more about Add an article
the public
food
pyramid, Add an article
the food
percentage
of nutrition that they should consume and the amount of exercise they should be done in a day. Correct article usage
the percentage
However
, government
can only Add an article
the government
giving
Wrong verb form
give
advise
and Replace the word
advice
encouraging
their Wrong verb form
encourage
people
, it still depending
on themselves.
Taking everything into a nutshell, prevention is better than cure, Wrong verb form
depends
body
Add an article
the body
is belongs
to us, we cannot expect others to help us keep fit, Change the verb form
belongs
we
need to take action before we suffer from any Correct word choice
and we
diseases
or illness. Fix the agreement mistake
disease
At the end
of the day, we are the only one
who can take Correct pronoun usage
ones
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilities
on
our Change preposition
for
health
.Submitted by sientan04 on
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task achievement
Present clear positions throughout the response, ensuring that opinions or suggested solutions are relevant to the question asked. Consider both views equally before providing a balanced conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing accurately and appropriately. Establish clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure a smooth flow and progression of ideas through logical sequencing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.