The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvatages?

The increment in social
media
has affected the connections between
individuals
and it is contended that the points of interest of utilizing social
media
for communication exceed the drawbacks .
This
author accepts that
this
strategy of communication can
offer
assistance
individuals
Change preposition
to individuals
show examples
keep
Fix the infinitive
to keep
show examples
in touch with other
individuals
and communicate helpfully in spite of the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
physical interaction. The foremost beneficial figure of utilizing social
media
is that it can
offer
assistance
individuals
Change preposition
to individuals
show examples
keep
Fix the infinitive
to keep
show examples
in touch with
ancient
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
companions . Typically
since
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
social
media
could be a net which interfaces
individuals
from all over the world without any physical boundaries. Broad
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
about has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
appeared that numerous
individuals
utilize social
media
as the most way to associate with their
ancient
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
companions . In
this
manner , social
media
can interface
individuals
together. Comfort must too be considered.
For
this
reason, social
media
can
offer
assistance
individuals
Change preposition
to individuals
show examples
to trade data rapidly in any circumstance . For case , amid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
COVID 19
Add a hyphen
COVID-19
show examples
widespread ,
individuals
had to remain
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
domestic ,
consequently
, social
media
is
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
show examples
way the most perfect way to contact other
individuals
. In
this
manner , social
media
can
offer
assistance
individuals
Change preposition
to individuals
show examples
to chat with each other conveniently.
However
, utilizing social
media
to communicate can lead to a need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
interaction.
This
can be
since
Correct word choice
because
show examples
social
media
may be a virtual put and
individuals
can not
associated
Change the verb form
associate
be associated
show examples
confront to confront .
This
point may be genuine , but by empowering
individuals
to communicate with each other more,
this
issue can be solved. In conclusion, utilizing social
media
to communicate with other
individuals
is helpful and makes a difference
individuals
Change preposition
for individuals
show examples
to keep in touch with companions .
Consequently
,
this
paper has demonstrated that the focal points of
this
strategy exceed its downsides .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
You have provided an appropriate introduction and conclusion, but they would benefit from clearer statements of your main argument or opinion. Ensure that the thesis statement is direct and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
Clarity
Your essay lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas. To improve, make sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea, followed by a detailed explanation or example to support it.
Support
Your main points should be supported by more specific examples, details, or data to strengthen your arguments. Consider incorporating case studies, statistics, or expert opinions to substantiate your points.
Cohesion
It is essential to form logical connections between your ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices appropriately, such as conjunctions, transition phrases, and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: