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Writing Samples
Band 8

the diagram demonstrates how many sex that people had in given period

the diagram demonstrates how many sex that people had in given period
The bar chart illustrates how many
hours
Use synonyms
 a person has for leisure activities in a week, and the people are separated by different genders and occupations.
Overall
Linking Words
, the leisure
time
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 that men have in 3 of the 5 categories - employed full
time
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, unemployed and retired is higher than
females
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,
while
Linking Words
 there is no data or the statistics is 0
hours
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 for
males
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 whose jobs are part-
time
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 employees or housewives. Looking at the information for more details, for
males
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 who work as full-
time
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 employees, they have only 50
hours
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 a week for rest, what is more, for
females
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 who at the same job's condition, they have less than 50
hours
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, only around 38
hours
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 free
time
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 a week, which is the shortest in the whole investigation. The statistics for unemployees and retirees are quite the same, the spare
time
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males
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 have are both around 80
hours
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 and the spare
time
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males
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 have is lower than
males
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', which is around 75
hours
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.
However
Linking Words
, those are the longest free
time
Use synonyms
 for
females
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 in a total of 5 groups. Take a look at people who are part-
time
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 workers and housewives, an interesting observation is that the data for
males
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 are empty or 0
hours
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. But we have the data for women who engage in part-
time
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 jobs and can take a rest for perhaps 40
hours
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 and
females
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 who are housewives have about 55
hours
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, time, females, males with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sexual activity
  • gender distribution
  • behavior patterns
  • frequency
  • age demographics
  • cultural implications
  • societal norms
  • public health
  • educational outreach
  • data interpretation
  • trends
  • variations
  • analysis
  • implications
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