IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980,1990 and 2000. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980,1990 and 2000. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #show #changes #authorities #someland #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The three pie charts illustrate the
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 percentage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
spenditure
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 by national authorities in Someland during a period of 30 years.
overall
,
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Higher
Education
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased the proportion of spending in 1980
and1990
Correct your spelling
and 1990
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the proportion of spending on K-12
Education
 and other had fallen over that period from1980 to2000.
According to
 what
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 shown,
expenditrue
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 on higher
education
 went up from 35%
to45
Correct your spelling
to 45
% before falling to 40% ,so it was an
overall
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 of 5%. the percentage
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 in K-12
education
 was 25% in 1980,
while
 it was a
propertion
Correct your spelling
proportion
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 of 7%. Between 1980 and 2000,
Enviromental
Correct your spelling
Environmental
 services
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 4%,5%mand9% respectively of expenditure. The percentage of spending on transportation and health and human
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
have fluctuated
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it was an
overall
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 of 6%.
Submitted by amal.aljohani94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: