Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent years, the usage of
smartphones
among young people has increased significantly, and many of them spend hours
daily on their phones. This
essay aims to explore the reasons behind this
. It also
outlines that it is a negative development.One reason why children
spend many hours
on their smartphones
is that they have easy access to social media sites such
as Facebook, Twitter, etc. In part, they want to connect with their family and peers on those platforms, where they can share their daily experiences. For instance
, international students who live across the country to study use their smartphones
to video call with their relatives. This
can be positive in some ways.Another reason why children
spend many hours
on their smartphones
is the availability of entertainment options. Children
can download games, music, and movies on their smartphones
and spend several hours
watching, listening, or playing.Considering the effect of this
trend, it can be harmful to a great extent, as children
can be exposed to cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and addiction to social media. For example
, a Korean actor named Sulli committed suicide due to
hateful comments on the internet.In addition
, consuming too much content like that may make them unhappy, which can distract them from important academic and skill development.
In conclusion, some teenagers spend a large amount of time on their phones every day because social media constantly presents them with inappropriate content. It is crucial for parents and guardians to monitor their child's smartphone use and ensure that they spend enough time on it.Submitted by mynonames on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear, coherent structure, which is crucial for the reader to follow your argument effectively. Aim to separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that expand on the idea presented in the topic sentence. Ensure there is a logical flow between paragraphs with appropriate use of linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, both should be more defined and purposeful. The introduction should set the stage for what will be discussed and clearly state your position on the topic. The conclusion should summarily address the topics covered and restate your position, providing a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Each main point in your essay needs to be supported by specific examples or evidence. This is what turns a general statement into a convincing argument. Use real-life instances, research studies, or statistical data where possible to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. The question not only asks why children use smartphones but also asks for your opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Ensure that you provide a balanced response to both questions, with clear arguments supporting your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas should be expressed clearly and comprehensively, with well-developed arguments that are relevant to the topic at hand. Avoid generalisations and strive to provide depth to your discussion, making your stance and reasoning clear to the reader.
task achievement
Providing relevant examples is key to achieving a high score in task achievement. Your examples should be detailed and directly related to the points you are trying to make. Avoid vague references and ensure that your examples effectively illustrate your arguments.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion