Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years, the usage of

smartphones

Use synonyms

among young people has increased significantly, and many of them spend

hours

Use synonyms

daily on their phones.

This

Linking Words

essay aims to explore the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

. It

also

Linking Words

outlines that it is a negative development.One reason why

children

Use synonyms

spend many

hours

Use synonyms

on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

is that they have easy access to social media sites

such

Linking Words

as Facebook, Twitter, etc. In part, they want to connect with their family and peers on those platforms, where they can share their daily experiences.

For instance

Linking Words

, international students who live across the country to study use their

smartphones

Use synonyms

to video call with their relatives.

This

Linking Words

can be positive in some ways.Another reason why

children

Use synonyms

spend many

hours

Use synonyms

on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

is the availability of entertainment options.

Children

Use synonyms

can download games, music, and movies on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

and spend several

hours

Use synonyms

watching, listening, or playing.Considering the effect of

this

Linking Words

trend, it can be harmful to a great extent, as

children

Use synonyms

can be exposed to cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and addiction to social media.

For example

Linking Words

, a Korean actor named Sulli committed suicide

due to

Linking Words

hateful comments on the internet.

In addition

Linking Words

, consuming too much content like that may make them unhappy, which can distract them from important academic and skill development. In conclusion, some teenagers spend a large amount of time on their phones every day because social media constantly presents them with inappropriate content. It is crucial for parents and guardians to monitor their child's smartphone use and ensure that they spend enough time on it.

mynonamesMon Jan 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear, coherent structure, which is crucial for the reader to follow your argument effectively. Aim to separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that expand on the idea presented in the topic sentence. Ensure there is a logical flow between paragraphs with appropriate use of linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

While you have an introduction and a conclusion, both should be more defined and purposeful. The introduction should set the stage for what will be discussed and clearly state your position on the topic. The conclusion should summarily address the topics covered and restate your position, providing a sense of closure.

coherence cohesion

Each main point in your essay needs to be supported by specific examples or evidence. This is what turns a general statement into a convincing argument. Use real-life instances, research studies, or statistical data where possible to support your points.

task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task. The question not only asks why children use smartphones but also asks for your opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Ensure that you provide a balanced response to both questions, with clear arguments supporting your opinion.

task achievement

Your ideas should be expressed clearly and comprehensively, with well-developed arguments that are relevant to the topic at hand. Avoid generalisations and strive to provide depth to your discussion, making your stance and reasoning clear to the reader.

task achievement

Providing relevant examples is key to achieving a high score in task achievement. Your examples should be detailed and directly related to the points you are trying to make. Avoid vague references and ensure that your examples effectively illustrate your arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Rich country often gives money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore developed country should give other types of help to the poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
I absolutely agree with the statement above. Poverty is a huge issue on the earth, humanity has to solve it. The easiest way to do this is to send money to these people, but it won't help them step out from indigence. Developed countries have to send them medical help, and food and offer job and educational opportunities. This essay will discuss the solutions, listed previously.
6.5
band
You child is going on a school trip overseas for week. The Headmaster is looking for parents to join the trip. Write a letter to state that you would like to join it. In your letter: Mention why you would like to join the trip. Ask some general questions about the trip. Mention how you can be helpful
I am writing this letter to confirm that you are going to conduct an overseas trip for a week, and asking parents to join too.
6
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Nowadays, some people think that doing experiments on animals is not allowed and we should stay away from them, but other people believe that significant scientific research can be done through animal experiments, personally, I prefer to stay away from hurting animals and the whole environments in general and try hard to find any alternative.
6
band
Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals believe that the Olympic games are international events bringing other countries to enjoy the festival, while others consider that money should be invested in other things instead of holding the Olympics. This writer argues that the Olympic games help maintain peace in the world and enhance the relationships of other countries rather than removing festivals to spend money on other things.
7
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In several nations, the number of parents who teach their children at home now increases rapidly instead of sending them to the teacher at school. I believe there are both advantages and disadvantages to this issue, but their withdrawal sure outweighs the other.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Rich country often gives money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore developed country should give other types of help to the poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?