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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using socia media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

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The increase in social networking services has been influencing significantly individual and societal bonds.
This
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 writer argues that the benefits of allowing
people
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 to connect with their beloved wherever and having opportunities to make friends with
others
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 across the globe outweigh the drawbacks of the critic's fears. The most advantageous factor of using social
media
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 platforms for communication is that they permit
people
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 to connect to
others
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 regardless of geographic location.
This
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 is because, the internet network these days is installed in nearly 200 regions, even in remote areas,
such
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 as African countries. For that reason, thanks to applications on social
media
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, individuals can effortlessly keep in touch with their loved ones by chatting or calling on
those software
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that software
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, providing
people
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 with the opportunity to befriend
others
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 all around the world must
also
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 be considered.
This
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 can be attributed to the growth of dating and friendship applications on social
media
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, they can help individuals to connect with ones who have common interests in a short
time
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 by conducting basic steps like sending messages.
Hence
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, because of not taking much
time
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,
people
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 will have more and more
time
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 to befriend new ones.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the New York Times, a person can make hundreds of friends via social
media
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 per year.
However
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,
others
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 assume that communicating on social
media
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 can lead to the disease of social anxiety. As residents depend too much on chatting, they may forget communication skills in real life, which can make them always feel concerned about social situations.
This
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 may be valid, but diminishing screen
time
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 and trying to have a chat with family members and friends will go a long way in alleviating the harm of utilizing social networks. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of social phobia is eclipsed by the advantages of bonding
people
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 globally and gaining a friend-making chance.
Hence
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, utilising social networks for talking or chatting with
others
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 can be more beneficial for individuals throughout the world.

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, make sure to address all parts of the task more fully and provide a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of social media for communication. Add more specific examples that are directly relevant to the question to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For higher Coherence and Cohesion, work on improving the logical flow of ideas through better use of linking words and phrases. Additionally, ideas could be more fully expanded in the body paragraphs to create a more cohesive argument. Aim for a smooth transition between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the Logical Structure, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is thoroughly explored. The use of topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs can aid in guiding the reader through your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, make sure they are fully developed. The introduction should clearly state both sides of the argument and your stance, while the conclusion should succinctly sum up your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples to illustrate your arguments effectively. These should be directly related to the topic and clearly explain how they support your point. Provide real-life examples or statistics when possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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