Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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In the present day several kids
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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have a
dementrial
Correct your spelling
dementia

If you don’t want dementrial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

style
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
The
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Schooling and family both have the function to resolve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

question. I totally agree that
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools

It seems that School may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and fathers have the obligation
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their pupils
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a better
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle

The word life style seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
style
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, leading with the issue
startes
Correct your spelling
starts
started

If you don’t want startes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

at home with their parents, and the best way to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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is teaching their children how to have a
behavier
Correct your spelling
behaviour

If you don’t want behavier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and a
goog
Correct your spelling
good

The word goog doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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ways to have a
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sytle
Correct your spelling
style

If you don’t want sytle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method will ensure that most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
kids can initiate a healthy
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at home.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
parents
Add an article
the parents

The phrase most of parents may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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educate
your
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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children
sinced
Correct your spelling
since

If you don’t want sinced to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

they are young, show
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
them that industrial
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or fast
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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is not good for their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies

It seems that body may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

teaching
Wrong verb form
teach

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb teaching. Consider changing it.

show examples
them the importance of
do
Wrong verb form
doing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb do. Consider changing it.

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physical exercise it is good
habits
Fix the agreement mistake
habit

It seems that habits may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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necessary to have a prosperity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle

The word life style seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
style
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and can give them a less healthy problem in the future.
Linking Words
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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encouraging their children from home is the best way
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their healthy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle

The word life style seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
style
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

fo
Correct your spelling
for

The word fo doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the
futurity
Replace the word
future

The word futurity doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
. Another point to consider is that schools need to be connected with a good education at
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

less junk
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the canteens of the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the Schooling need to implement the
mesure
Correct your spelling
message

If you don’t want mesure to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to
Add an article
the seller
a seller
show examples
Add an article
the seller
a seller

The noun phrase seller seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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seller
Replace the word
sell
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in their canteens more fresh
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, no more unhealthy like pizza or
hamburguer
Correct your spelling
hamburger

If you don’t want hamburguer to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of consumption
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
is not good for the body
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb encouraged. Consider changing it.

show examples
their pupils to do regular physical exercise in the grade
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, my point of view
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
is that parents and schooling need to be linked together for the easiest way to provide a healthy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle

The word life style seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
style
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their kids.

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structure
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be developed further to effectively frame the essay.
support
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly relevant to this main point. Avoid general statements and provide concrete examples to support your argument.
task response
The response to the task is incomplete, and the ideas provided are somewhat relevant but underdeveloped. Work on fully addressing the prompt by exploring the extent of agreement and providing detailed explanations and examples.
cohesion
The written piece demonstrates a need for improved cohesion between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices such as linking words to improve the flow of information and clearly connect points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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