More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?
There is no doubt that private
vehicle
have been increasing especially in developing Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
countries
where many a person buy
new Change the verb form
buys
cars
for the first time. This
essay will delve into some reason
for Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
this
trend and put forward some possible solutions to address this
issue.
To begin
with, the number of cars
have
increased in developing Change the verb form
has
countries
creates
major Wrong verb form
creating
traffic
problems. several developing coutries
have only basic transportation infrastructure which would Correct your spelling
countries
leads
Change the verb form
lead
into
Change preposition
to
traffic
blocks and traffic
violations. In contrast
, developed countries
have sophasticated
roads and transport Correct your spelling
sophisticated
mechanism
. Fix the agreement mistake
mechanisms
In addition
, the
environmental problems Correct article usage
apply
is
another major concern in those Change the verb form
are
countires
. Correct your spelling
countries
For example
, according to
recent
UN report , carbon emission from motorised Correct article usage
a recent
vehicle
is one of the important Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
reason
for global warming which Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
is mostly produces
by these Change the verb form
is mostly produced
countries
.
Nevertheless
, There
are some possible solutions to tackle Fix capitalization
there
to
increased Change preposition
apply
private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
cars
in the
developing nations. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, the government should initiate an action to reduce purchase
of Add an article
the purchase
cars
. In other words
, imposing heavy tax to
the new Change preposition
on
vehicle
would help to reduce the purchase of cars
. Besides
, since public transportation should be accessible and convenient for public
, the usage of private Add an article
the public
vehicle
may decrease. Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
Moreover
, promote
electrical Wrong verb form
promoting
vehicle
might Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
preseve
nature Correct your spelling
preserve
as well as
the economy. For example
, by promoting electrical vehicle
in India, Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
resuted
in 5% carbon emissions reduction.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
resulted
traffic
and environmental issues are the major issues in developing countries
cause
by Wrong verb form
caused
incrased
numbers of Correct your spelling
increased
cars
. Ergo, the
imposing Correct article usage
apply
hevy
Correct your spelling
heavy
tax
on fossil fuel Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
cars
and promoting electric cars
are the
viable Correct article usage
apply
solution
to tackle Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
this
issue.
TSubmitted by ck.manshad on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a logical and clear structure. Paragraphing can be improved to enhance logical flow between ideas, and greater cohesion can be achieved through better use of linking mechanisms.
Task Achievement
The response to the task only somewhat addresses the prompt. Clearer and more developed ideas, as well as a more thorough exploration of the proposed solutions, are necessary to increase the information's comprehensiveness and relevance to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example