More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

#people #countries #cars #first #time

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There is no doubt that private

vehicle

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vehicles

show examples

have been increasing especially in developing

countries

where many a person

buy

Change the verb form

buys

show examples

new

cars

for the first time.

This

essay will delve into some

reason

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reasons

show examples

for

this

trend and put forward some possible solutions to address

this

issue.

To begin

with, the number of

cars

have

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has

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increased in developing

countries

creates

Wrong verb form

creating

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major

traffic

problems. several developing

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

have only basic transportation infrastructure which would

leads

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lead

show examples

into

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show examples

traffic

blocks and

traffic

violations.

In contrast

, developed

countries

have

sophasticated

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sophisticated

roads and transport

mechanism

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mechanisms

show examples

In addition

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental problems

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are

show examples

another major concern in those

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

For example

according to

recent

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a recent

show examples

UN report , carbon emission from motorised

vehicle

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vehicles

show examples

is one of the important

reason

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reasons

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for global warming which

is mostly produces

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is mostly produced

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by these

countries

Nevertheless

There

Fix capitalization

there

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are some possible solutions to tackle

Change preposition

apply

show examples

increased

private

Correct quantifier usage

number of private

show examples

cars

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developing nations.

Firstly

, the government should initiate an action to reduce

purchase

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the purchase

show examples

cars

In other words

, imposing heavy tax

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show examples

the new

vehicle

would help to reduce the purchase of

cars

Besides

, since public transportation should be accessible and convenient for

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

, the usage of private

vehicle

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vehicles

show examples

may decrease.

Moreover

promote

Wrong verb form

promoting

show examples

electrical

vehicle

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vehicles

show examples

might

preseve

Correct your spelling

preserve

nature

as well as

the economy.

For example

, by promoting electrical

vehicle

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicles

show examples

in India,

resuted

Correct your spelling

resulted

in 5% carbon emissions reduction. In conclusion,

traffic

and environmental issues are the major issues in developing

countries

cause

Wrong verb form

caused

show examples

incrased

Correct your spelling

increased

numbers of

cars

. Ergo,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

imposing

hevy

Correct your spelling

heavy

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

on fossil fuel

cars

and promoting electric

cars

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

viable

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to tackle

this

issue. T

Submitted by ck.manshad on Mon Jan 15 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a logical and clear structure. Paragraphing can be improved to enhance logical flow between ideas, and greater cohesion can be achieved through better use of linking mechanisms.

Task Achievement

The response to the task only somewhat addresses the prompt. Clearer and more developed ideas, as well as a more thorough exploration of the proposed solutions, are necessary to increase the information's comprehensiveness and relevance to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

260 words

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More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.