IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

There is no doubt that private
Use synonyms
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 have been increasing especially in developing
countries
Use synonyms
 where many a person
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
 new
cars
Use synonyms
 for the first time.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into some
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 trend and put forward some possible solutions to address
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the number of
cars
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased in developing
countries
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creates
Wrong verb form
creating
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 major
traffic
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 problems. several developing
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 have only basic transportation infrastructure which would
leads
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lead
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into
Change preposition
to
show examples
traffic
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 blocks and
traffic
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 violations.
In contrast
Linking Words
, developed
countries
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 have
sophasticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
 roads and transport
mechanism
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mechanisms
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental problems
is
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are
show examples
 another major concern in those
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 UN report , carbon emission from motorised
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 is one of the important
reason
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reasons
show examples
 for global warming which
is mostly produces
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is mostly produced
show examples
 by these
countries
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are some possible solutions to tackle
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increased
private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing nations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should initiate an action to reduce
purchase
Add an article
the purchase
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 of
cars
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, imposing heavy tax
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the new
vehicle
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 would help to reduce the purchase of
cars
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, since public transportation should be accessible and convenient for
public
Add an article
the public
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, the usage of private
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 may decrease.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
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 electrical
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 might
preseve
Correct your spelling
preserve
 nature
as well as
Linking Words
 the economy.
For example
Linking Words
, by promoting electrical
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 in India,
resuted
Correct your spelling
resulted
 in 5% carbon emissions reduction. In conclusion,
traffic
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 and environmental issues are the major issues in developing
countries
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cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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 by
incrased
Correct your spelling
increased
 numbers of
cars
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. Ergo,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
imposing
hevy
Correct your spelling
heavy
tax
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taxes
show examples
 on fossil fuel
cars
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 and promoting electric
cars
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 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viable
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue. T

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a logical and clear structure. Paragraphing can be improved to enhance logical flow between ideas, and greater cohesion can be achieved through better use of linking mechanisms.
Task Achievement
The response to the task only somewhat addresses the prompt. Clearer and more developed ideas, as well as a more thorough exploration of the proposed solutions, are necessary to increase the information's comprehensiveness and relevance to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • fuel prices
  • imported oil
  • road maintenance
  • public transportation
  • economic inequality
  • societal divide
What to do next:
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