More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

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There is no doubt that private
Use synonyms
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
have been increasing especially in developing
countries
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where many a person
buy
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buys
show examples
new
cars
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for the first time.
This
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essay will delve into some
reason
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reasons
show examples
for
this
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trend and put forward some possible solutions to address
this
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issue.
To begin
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with, the number of
cars
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have
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has
show examples
increased in developing
countries
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creates
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creating
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major
traffic
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problems. several developing
coutries
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countries
have only basic transportation infrastructure which would
leads
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lead
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into
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to
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traffic
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blocks and
traffic
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violations.
In contrast
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, developed
countries
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have
sophasticated
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sophisticated
roads and transport
mechanism
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mechanisms
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.
In addition
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,
the
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apply
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environmental problems
is
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are
show examples
another major concern in those
countires
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countries
.
For example
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,
according to
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recent
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a recent
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UN report , carbon emission from motorised
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vehicle
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vehicles
show examples
is one of the important
reason
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reasons
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for global warming which
is mostly produces
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is mostly produced
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by these
countries
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.
Nevertheless
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,
There
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there
show examples
are some possible solutions to tackle
to
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apply
show examples
increased
private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
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cars
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing nations.
Firstly
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, the government should initiate an action to reduce
purchase
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the purchase
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of
cars
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, imposing heavy tax
to
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on
show examples
the new
vehicle
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would help to reduce the purchase of
cars
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.
Besides
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, since public transportation should be accessible and convenient for
public
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the public
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, the usage of private
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vehicle
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vehicles
show examples
may decrease.
Moreover
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,
promote
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promoting
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electrical
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vehicle
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vehicles
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might
preseve
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preserve
nature
as well as
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the economy.
For example
Linking Words
, by promoting electrical
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vehicle
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vehicles
show examples
in India,
resuted
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resulted
in 5% carbon emissions reduction. In conclusion,
traffic
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and environmental issues are the major issues in developing
countries
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cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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by
incrased
Correct your spelling
increased
numbers of
cars
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. Ergo,
the
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apply
show examples
imposing
hevy
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heavy
tax
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taxes
show examples
on fossil fuel
cars
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and promoting electric
cars
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are
the
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apply
show examples
viable
solution
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solutions
show examples
to tackle
this
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issue. T

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a logical and clear structure. Paragraphing can be improved to enhance logical flow between ideas, and greater cohesion can be achieved through better use of linking mechanisms.
Task Achievement
The response to the task only somewhat addresses the prompt. Clearer and more developed ideas, as well as a more thorough exploration of the proposed solutions, are necessary to increase the information's comprehensiveness and relevance to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • fuel prices
  • imported oil
  • road maintenance
  • public transportation
  • economic inequality
  • societal divide
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