IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that modern inventions bring problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree.

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According to
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 some people, the latest discoveries
of
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in
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science
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 and technology actually
causes
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cause
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 complications rather than benefits. I personally disagree with
this
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 viewpoint because it is undeniable that scientific discoveries
has
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have
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 brought a lot of blessings which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 already
proved
Wrong verb form
been proven
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.
Science
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 and technology
has
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have
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 changed our lives fully in a positive way. These positivities and development
is
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are
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 visible in numerous sectors
such
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 as business, medicine, construction, education and so on.
For example
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, only because of the advanced
inventions
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 of
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of diagnostic
machineries
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machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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 in medical
science
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, we can easily diagnose diseases and start treatment when it is required . That ensures the life expectancy and well-being of people than before.
Other
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In other
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 fields like business and information
system
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systems
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,
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
inventions
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 brought numerous changes and velocity which has made these sectors
a
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the
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 biggest means of
emplyment
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employment
 for people.
Moreover
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, the biggest contribution of modern
inventions
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 is
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 which has made our
life
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lives
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 faster and easier. It helps us to outperform in business, education and other fields by not only providing information, and knowledge but
also
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 enabling us to share it with others. Contrastingly, those who believe that
,
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apply
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 the improvements of
science
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 are actually troubling our lives should not be taken into consideration because if there is anything negative
happned
Correct your spelling
happens
, that must be our fault
of
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for
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 not using those
inventions
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 for our own
benefits
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benefit
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. It is our responsibility of being a human to ensure proper utilization of everything including
science
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 and technology.
To conclude
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, modern
science
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 is a blessing rather than a curse and whether it would bring trouble and benefit depends on our utilization of it.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the flow of your argument, ensure you use a variety of cohesive devices.
task achievement
You have presented a clear position throughout your response, but to achieve a higher score, your main points could be developed further with more detailed examples and deeper analysis.
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