IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that modern inventions bring problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #inventions
According to
 some people, the latest discoveries
of
Change preposition
in
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science
 and technology actually
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 complications rather than benefits. I personally disagree with
this
 viewpoint because it is undeniable that scientific discoveries
has
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have
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 brought a lot of blessings which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 already
proved
Wrong verb form
been proven
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.
Science
 and technology
has
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have
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 changed our lives fully in a positive way. These positivities and development
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 visible in numerous sectors
such
 as business, medicine, construction, education and so on.
For example
, only because of the advanced
inventions
 of
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of diagnostic
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
 in medical
science
, we can easily diagnose diseases and start treatment when it is required . That ensures the life expectancy and well-being of people than before.
Other
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In other
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 fields like business and information
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
,
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
inventions
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 brought numerous changes and velocity which has made these sectors
a
Change the article
the
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 biggest means of
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment
 for people.
Moreover
, the biggest contribution of modern
inventions
 is
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 which has made our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 faster and easier. It helps us to outperform in business, education and other fields by not only providing information, and knowledge but
also
 enabling us to share it with others. Contrastingly, those who believe that
,
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apply
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 the improvements of
science
 are actually troubling our lives should not be taken into consideration because if there is anything negative
happned
Correct your spelling
happens
, that must be our fault
of
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for
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 not using those
inventions
 for our own
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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. It is our responsibility of being a human to ensure proper utilization of everything including
science
 and technology.
To conclude
, modern
science
 is a blessing rather than a curse and whether it would bring trouble and benefit depends on our utilization of it.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the flow of your argument, ensure you use a variety of cohesive devices.
task achievement
You have presented a clear position throughout your response, but to achieve a higher score, your main points could be developed further with more detailed examples and deeper analysis.

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