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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table illustrates the projected costings during the five years in American dollars for three environmental strategies for stable forestry, whilst the pie chart presents the anticipated expenses distributed by four sectors in the first year.

The table illustrates the projected costings during the five years in American dollars for three environmental strategies for stable forestry, whilst the pie chart presents the anticipated expenses distributed by four sectors in the first year.
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The given table and pie chart illustrate the data of projection cost every
year
Use synonyms
 for environmental project development in the next five years in three different continents (West Africa, Central America and
South-East
Use synonyms
Asia
Use synonyms
) and the prediction of expenses proportion every
year
Use synonyms
. The units are measured in millions and per cent.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
South-East
Use synonyms
Asia
Use synonyms
 will have the biggest
budget
Use synonyms
 for the project in all five years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, half of the expenditure will used for salaries. As the table shows, in the initial
year
Use synonyms
South-East
Use synonyms
Asia
Use synonyms
 almost tripled its
budget
Use synonyms
 compared with West Africa at 10.5
million
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Central America budgeted at 20
million
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
South-East
Use synonyms
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the biggest cost throughout the given period and the
budget
Use synonyms
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 every
year
Use synonyms
 with 50
million
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 period. Meanwhile,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Africa and Central America will encounter a reduction in
budget
Use synonyms
 and
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period cost 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 and 5
million
Use synonyms
, respectively. Regarding the proportion of expenditure, half of the allocation will be used for salaries. In the second position, 30% will be expense for set-up costs.
Lastly
Linking Words
, training and office expenses will be used at 10% each.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, south-east, asia, budget, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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