Nowdays in many countries the proportion of older population is higher than that of younger people. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent years,
many
nations the total number of older population is higher than younger Change preposition
in many
people
. It will cause an upside and a downside development. in this
essay, I believe that decreasing number of youth population will give
a bad effectVerb problem
have
,
because a nation will Remove the comma
apply
don't
have enough human Verb problem
not
resource
and Fix the agreement mistake
resources
losing
Wrong verb form
will lose
their
cultural value.
limited human Correct pronoun usage
its
resource
will affect national development to be slow in progress. Fix the agreement mistake
resources
As a result
, the country
should look for the
workers from outside, which can lead to Correct article usage
apply
spend
a lot of money. Change the verb form
spending
for
example, Japan offers job Capitalize word
For
opportunity
, allowing Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
people
around the world to come and work as nurse
or Fix the agreement mistake
nurses
doctor
. the Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
country
have
to spend much budget to pay the workers than Change the verb form
has
the
usual.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, decreasing young population will decrease national identity. As a consequence
, many people
don't know about their culture, which cause
Change the verb form
causes
tourist
around the globe will not visit the Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
country
. For instance
, almost tourist
come and enjoy their holiday Correct determiner usage
all tourist
to
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
a
country
which has an atractive
culture. if the identity of the nation Correct your spelling
attractive
is disappear
, so they will be a Change the verb form
disappears
marginally
Change the word
marginal
country
.
in conclusion, the limited number of young people
will cause several bad effects, difficult for human resources and it
tend to Correct pronoun usage
apply
losing
Change the verb form
lose
the
culture.Correct article usage
a
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task achievement
You should ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the question. State your position and summarise your main points in the conclusion for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your essay structure by including a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea and be linked to the others, to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Ensure that the examples are directly relevant to the question and clearly support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, capitalization, and grammatical correctness to avoid undermining the clarity of your message. Errors can distract the reader and make your argument less persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite