IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly known that we are living in a modern world where technology and the internet are better than before. We can find useful information and ask for advice so
people
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 will have many options for their
choices
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.
Moreover
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, I strongly believe that
people
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 have more than one choice. There are many reasons which contribute to why our lives have many
choices
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.
Firstly
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, as for the academic environment and social aspects, we can think about careers and choose the job we would like to do when we are leaving from University.
For instance
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, teenagers can look for a study at their
favorite
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favourite
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 university or college so they can choose majors that are suitable for them.
Secondly
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, we can decide who is your friend.
For example
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, when you make friends with a person who takes advantage of your kindness, you will choose not to become their best friend.
Instead
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 of making bad friends, you can choose other
people
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 who respect you and their relationship.
Lastly
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, Life is a lesson in making mistakes and learning.
For example
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, if you fail college which is the school you really like it doesn’t mean you don’t have the opportunity to study at other universities.
Additionally
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, you can choose another form of study
such
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 as vocational or training to continue your studies for your future career. What’s more, regarding digital life, our society's technological innovations may have the most immediate benefits for public-sector industries like business, education, food, transportation, and entertainment. They have been providing us with an enormous array of
choices
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 for various amenities in public buildings.
For example
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, parks are increasingly places where
people
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 congregate with friends and family
in addition
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 to being leisurely places to stroll.
Additionally
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, they give residents access to a variety of basic exercise equipment, and vending machines are sporadically positioned to help with issues like hunger and dehydration. The healthcare industry is one instance that demonstrates how advancements could provide individuals with a multitude of options to choose from. Regards to several creations and inventions. In short, we don’t always have many
choices
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 in the bad case but I still believe that in modern life we will have many options to choose for our future. Each choice will bring you different benefits, so you need to research carefully before making a decision for yourself.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure, with distinct paragraphs that each introduce a separate point, link effectively to one another, and follow a logical progression.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices correctly to manage the sequencing of points within paragraphs and across the essay. Avoid overusing them and ensure variety in your choices.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clearly introduce your essay with a brief explanation of the topic and your thesis; conclude effectively by summarising your points and restating your opinion.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by developing a clear position throughout the response, presenting, extending and supporting main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.
Task Achievement
Write clearly, organising ideas and information logically, ensuring that you answer the question set and elaborate sufficiently on your points with specific examples.
Task Achievement
Include a variety of relevant, specific examples that support the main points made in your essay, choosing examples that clearly showcase your understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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