Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend on other things benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The interest in
space
exploration
has been increased nowadays. Some argue that governments’ expenditure on
space
exploration
is unnecessary and they should spend their
people’s
money on other parts of society. Even though exploring
space
costs a huge amount of budget, in my opinion, I highly believe that it has its own merits. On the one hand, spending on
space
research could be a complete waste. First and foremost,
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount of money is needed to investigate and explore the outside of the Earth.
Additionally
, governments should take care of their
people’s
standards of living more, so they could spend their taxes
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
helping the
vernarable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
venerable
people like social welfare.
Consequently
, they would not be able to waste their budget, by which they could improve their
people’s
overall
well-being and
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
.
This
is why,
for example
, some countries are in a financial crisis
due to
the excessive expenditure on
space
exploration
, making their citizens live in poverty.
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that
space
exploration
can yield numerous desirable outcomes. Essentially speaking, the research on
space
is the foundation of
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of other technologies.
Moreover
, the inventions for exploring
space
can
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
people’s
daily lives.
For instance
, the special attire for
astraunats
Correct your spelling
astronauts
applied to the outfits for firefighters and the technology of making
space
food is used for certain patients’ diets.
Lastly
, the
governments
Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
show examples
concern and investment can be the motivation for
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
development of the country.
Therefore
, spending money on
space
exploration
would bring forth several benefits. In conclusion,
although
some argue that the expenditure on
space
research is a waste, in my point-of-view, I
am still believe
Change the verb form
still believe
show examples
that it can be a motivation economically and
sceintificaly
Correct your spelling
scientifically
for our society.
Submitted by ssm921 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct main ideas supported by specific examples. Each paragraph should focus on one main point or argument.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. The use of detailed illustrations strengthens your position and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure clarity in your arguments. The more precise and well-articulated your viewpoints are, the more convincing your essay will be.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your position on the essay topic is consistently clear throughout the essay. Consistency makes your argument more persuasive and your essay easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
To achieve a higher score, refine your introduction and conclusion to precisely reflect your main arguments and restate your position more clearly. Remember that coherence and a strong conclusion can leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: