IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people consider that governments spend money on the art. What are the Advantages and Disadvantages?

#people #governments #money #art
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It is thought by some people that governments should dedicate
money
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 to the
art
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. Investing the state budget in
this
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 field would certainly aid several areas of business and culture, but there will
also
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 be some drawbacks. One evident benefit to allocating
money
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 to cultural events, museums, and artistic performances attracts tourists from all over the world, contributing to the economy.
In other words
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, tourists want to see traditional and modern
art
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 activities of different nations, and they must pay
money
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 for them. Another reason is that developed
art
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 enriches a nation’s cultural identity and heritage which play a pivotal role in shaping the next generations. Museums, galleries, and other cultural venues become custodians of a nation’s heritage, offering future citizens and visitors alike a glimpse into their shared history.
On the other hand
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, there are obvious disadvantages to spending government support on the
art
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.
Firstly
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, critics argue that funds allocated to the
art
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 could be better spent on pressing social issues
such
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 as education, healthcare, and poverty alleviation. Except for some developed countries, most population of the world still suffers from these vital problems which are more essential than improving
art
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 events.
Secondly
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, determining what constitutes “good” or “valuable”
art
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 can be highly subjective. Some may believe that government-funded
art
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 may not align with the tastes and preferences of the general public. There are a large number of kinds of
art
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 and it needs more investment to dedicate
money
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 for all of them. In conclusion, the question of government support for
art
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 involves economic and cultural benefits against potential drawbacks. Authorities should balance funds depending on the society’s values and priorities.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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task achievement
Be mindful to expand on your examples by providing more concrete details or statistics to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to ensure a balanced discussion between advantages and disadvantages. Consider expanding on each point equally to maintain balance.
coherence cohesion
You could explore connecting sentences and ideas more smoothly to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively setting up your essay and rounding off the discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a good ability to organize your essay, structuring it logically with clear paragraphs.
task achievement
Your response fully addresses the task, presenting a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of government spending on art.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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