IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using CCTV cameras to fight crime?

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Nowadays, the use of
CCTV
Use synonyms
 cameras has increased dramatically in order to make places more secure. They can easily be witnessed
eveywhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
such
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 as banks, offices and even supermarkets. There are some beneficial points
such
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 as lessening
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime and making streets safer,
however
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, some disadvantages are included as well. In
this
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 essay, I will explore the pros and cons of using
CCTV
Use synonyms
 cameras and try to draw some conclusions.
Firstly
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, one of the major benefits of using
this
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 type of
cameras
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camera
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 is that it helps to decrease the number of crimes. Yet, it records the events on a daily basis and
less
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fewer
show examples
 people dare to
commite
Correct your spelling
commit
 a crime in front of them.
For instance
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, In 2004, a group of
thiefs
Correct your spelling
thieves
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 broke into
a
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an
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appartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
 to do
robbery
Correct article usage
a robbery
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, but as soon they realized the
CCTV
Use synonyms
, they started to
ran
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run
show examples
.
Secondly
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, another major plus
points
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point
show examples
 of them is that they make streets become safer. What I mean by
this
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 is it
recogonizes
Correct your spelling
recognises
 the
the
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apply
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cars
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car's
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 speed and if someone breaks the law, the information
of
Change preposition
about
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 that car will be sent to
police
Add an article
the police
a police
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 station by them which costs the driver a lot.
In addition
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, lots of accidents have
prevented
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been prevented
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 from happening.
On the other hand
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,
on
Correct your spelling
one
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 of the main drawbacks can be the price of these evidence recorders which is significantly expensive.
For example
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, the
high quality
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high-quality
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 ones are about 4000$ and later. But, in spite of the high price, they are bought by people. Another major disadvantage of them is that most of them are connected to
PC
Correct article usage
a PC
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 via wire. So, if the lights go out, they will stop working and the recordings will be deleted. In
US
Correct article usage
the US
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, a bank robbery
was happened
Change to the active voice
happened
has happened
show examples
 when the lights had gone out and the police could not find any evidence. In conclusion, there are some
positives
Fix the agreement mistake
positive
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 and
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
show examples
 points of using
CCTV
Use synonyms
. Personally, I believe the advantages
outwigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 any disadvantages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it. Avoid including information that does not support the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
Use varied advanced cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Overuse of basic conjunctions like 'but' and 'and' limits the fluidity of the text. Study and practice using a range of linking phrases for more seamless transitions.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes such as 'eveywhere' (everywhere), 'thiefs' (thieves), 'broke into a appartement' (broke into an apartment), and 'as soon they realized' (as soon as they realized) to enhance clarity and accuracy.
task achievement
Work on developing and clearly expressing your ideas. Introduce your main points more effectively and expand on them with clear, direct explanations and appropriate examples, ensuring you maintain relevance to the question prompt throughout.
task achievement
Provide fully developed examples to effectively support your points. Your examples should be detailed, relevant, and clearly connected to the main idea they illustrate.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task in your response. For this essay, discuss both the advantages and disadvantages thoroughly, ensuring that you cover all aspects of the CCTV's role in fighting crime. It is also crucial to make sure your position is clear throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrent
  • CCTV (Closed-Circuit Television)
  • Evidence
  • Constant surveillance
  • Monitor
  • Privacy
  • Vandalism
  • Malfunction
  • Blackmail
  • Voyeurism
  • Surveillance
  • Maintenance
  • Conviction
  • Authorities
  • Public safety
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