The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadavantages?
A common trend occurring frequently around the globe in all facets of society is the growth of social networking.
While
the immediate sway towards it would be the convenience, the inevitable drawbacks of dependence and narrow
the gap between Replace the word
narrowing
generation
greatly surpass the upside.
One of the focal disadvantages of using social Fix the agreement mistake
generations
media
would be the dependence on it. In other words
, people tend to commute through media
to reduce the face-to-face situation. This
scenario can be witnessed everywhere, from teenager
to adults. Excessive social Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
media
use can negatively impact quality time, create conflict, and reduce relationship
satisfaction — whether the relationship
is romantic or not. During a 2021 study, researchers used Instagram and the app’s time-tracking capability to learn more about the connection between social media
and relationship
satisfaction.
They found an increase in Instagram usage led to a decrease in relationship
satisfaction and an increase in conflict and negative outcomes. Furthermore
, the dissatisfaction, conflict, and negative outcomes triggered an addictive use of Instagram.
Another point to consider is the connection between older and younger, especially within the family unit. Older generations typically have a stabilizing effect that keep
direct conversation. Change the verb form
keeps
However
, young people are more progressive and push social network
to communicate. Fix the agreement mistake
networks
According to
STES reports, 36 percent
Change the spelling
per cent
from
older groups choose to communicate through social Change preposition
of
media
, meanwhile, the figure for the young group was 64 percent
.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
per cent
while
the advantages of social media
and relationships tend to occur naturally, the disadvantages seem to be associated with existing relationship
problems or underlying psychological concerns in society.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs significant improvement as there are flaws that impede on the reader's ability to easily follow the argument. Consider creating clearer connections between your ideas and making sure each paragraph has a distinct central topic that it addresses.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly signal the opening of your argument and the synthesis of your main points, respectively. You currently have these sections in place, but they are not entirely effective in framing your essay; they lack a clear thesis statement and a concise summary of the discussed points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points you support in the essay are relevant to the topic, but they need further development and more elaboration. Including more detailed explanations and examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your response to the task is somewhat complete, but it fails to fully address the nuances of the essay prompt. You should try to present a more balanced view and weigh both advantages and disadvantages before coming to a final judgement on the issue, as the question asks for the advantages to be compared with the disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay lack clear comprehension and appear to be a bit disorganized. Strive to express your ideas in a more structured and logical manner.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant to the essay topic, but they need to be more specific and better integrated into your argument to reinforce the points you're making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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