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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should tell stories or read to their children. However, others believe that these days this isn't necessary as children have so many other sources for stories, such as books, films and TV. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #stories #children #isn #sources #books #films #tv
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Nowadays there seems to be an ongoing debate on what is the most suitable
source
 of
information
 for children. Many are of the opinion that
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 are
parents
,
however
, some argue
tha
Correct your spelling
that
due to
 access to a
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of devices, including
books
 or TV shows, they are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 longer needed in that case. As far as I am concerned, I believe that
parents
 are undeniably the best
source
 of
information
.
This
 essay will analyze both sides of
this
argment
Correct your spelling
argument
along with
 supportive examples. On the one hand, youngsters can derive immense value from gaining knowledge from
books
 and movies rather than from their guardians.
Firstly
, it offers a variety of
stories
, that any adult could possibly provide.
In other words
, there is an enormous number of
books
 and TV programs available in either
book shops
Correct your spelling
bookshops
show examples
 or on streaming
platfroms
Correct your spelling
platforms
, where one can effortlessly find
stories
 regarding every single topic. Netflix is a prime example that offers a lot of movies and series related to any theme children might be looking for.
Thus
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 diversity of content provided by other sources undoubtedly exceeds that
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a parent.
On the other hand
, hearing
stories
 from
mother
Correct article usage
a mother
show examples
 or father is
extremaly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 beneficial for young people for several reasons. Primarily, guardians are more reasonable and
valuebale
Correct your spelling
valuable
source
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
 than any book or movie. Because
parents
 are responsible for upbringing their children they, in comparison with other aforementioned origins, pay
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
special attention to the quality of plots given to their pupils.
Also
, story-telling plays a vital role in relationship formation between a child and a parent, as not only do they spend more time together, but
also
 they
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 their bonds by knowing some details about each others' life.
To conclude
, the debate on whether
parents
 should be a prime
source
 of
stories
 given to young people is complex and
multifaced
Correct your spelling
multifaceted
show examples
.
Although
books
 and movies offer a wider variety of content, I maintain that
information
 obtained from
parents
 is crucial, as not only is it a believable piece of data, but
also
 time spent on story-telling is a crucial factor in building a relationship.
Submitted by gabadlugo on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction includes a clear paraphrasing of the essay question and your thesis statement, while your conclusion should echo this and summarise your main points without introducing new ones.
Paragraph Development
Develop paragraphs fully to explain your points, using clear topic sentences that make your argument unmistakable to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within that paragraph are coherently connected to support that idea.
Using Examples
Include relevant examples to support your points, ensuring that these are detailed and specific rather than generic. They should be directly linked to the argument being made.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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