The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social meadia for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
Generally, personal relationships and social communications have been swayed by the development of social
media
. This
author believes that the benefits of ranged connection and associated stability outweigh the drawbacks of lacking physical experiences.
First of all, the benefit is
can be appreciated that these apps help us to connect to Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
others
with wide
range Correct article usage
a wide
include
Wrong verb form
including
facebook
and Capitalize word
Facebook
twitter
. Capitalize word
Twitter
Therefore
,these social apps as same
as tools for us to use conveniently and comfortably.For Correct article usage
the same
instant
,many people around the world spend their leisure time Replace the word
instance
to chat
or Change the verb form
chatting
phone
Wrong verb form
phoning
the
Correct article usage
apply
others
, these things can help them relax after hard work or enjoy their time with their relationships completely.
One kind of the others
benefits it can be known that using social Correct quantifier usage
other
media
is a method to update the information for us over
the world . It can be Correct pronoun usage
all over
seem
that Correct your spelling
seen
the
knowledge Correct article usage
apply
which
we need to know each day to get Correct pronoun usage
apply
grasp
and understand what Add an article
a grasp
are
happening on the Earth.
Change the verb form
is
Besides
the above pros , the drawback is
Verb problem
apply
also
existed
with them that Wrong verb form
exists
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
feeling
which connect with family in life.Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
This
problem can be
known that they only care about online friends on networking sites so forget the Wrong verb form
is
others
nearby them.
Taking all points into account, the possible impact of social media
being fear of society is outweighed by the liaison and interact
of the business. Replace the word
interaction
Hence
, thanks to the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
, people can foster their isolated relationships.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt to organize ideas, yet it lacks clear logical progression in some parts. You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed and connected to the overall topic. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader more effectively through your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task but does not provide a completely developed argument. Aim to expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Ensure that both the positives and negatives of social media are discussed in balanced detail to fully address the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.