Fast food is becoming part of life everywhere. This phenomenon affects people’s lifestyle and diet.Do you agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #phenomenon #people’s #lifestyle #diet

It is true that fast

food

has

been become

Change to the active voice

become

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intregral

Correct your spelling

integral

part of

people

's lives. Some argue that

this

issue has

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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their lifestyle and diet. I totally agree with the view.

To begin

with, there are several reasons why the popularity of fast

food

affects

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apply

show examples

people

's lives.

Firstly

, the advances in technology that diven

food

industrailisation

Correct your spelling

industrialisation

industrialization

which

is provide

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provides

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people

can easily order fast meals through delivery applications and the consumers can get

variety

Add an article

a variety

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of rubbish

food

, including

hambergers

Correct your spelling

hamburgers

, pizzas and even fried

chicked

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chicken

wings.

Therefore

, those

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

busy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

tend to select takeaway or dining out rather than homemade meals.

For example

, in Thailand, many companies would love to order a lot of pizzas to treat their employees when they work at night. In spite of the positive influence mentioned above, there are some negative aspects of

this

phenomenon. For one thing, it can increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a health problem because it offers

briny

Correct article usage

a briny

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diet, high levels of cholesterol and excessive sugar content. These

factor

Change the determiner

factors

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lead

people

to high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes which are chronic diseases to modern

people

Moreover

, the most serious matter is that children are exposed to these illnesses. In fact, in many countries, especially

such

as the USA, child diabetes and obesity have raised a major social problem. In conclusion,

although

some

people

believe that increasing the

consume

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consumption

show examples

of fast

food

Verb problem

does

show examples

not affect

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apply

show examples

people

's lives, I firmly agree that it will have

Correct your spelling

negative

Correct article usage

a nagative

show examples

nagative

Correct your spelling

negative

impact on them

Submitted by gammxoxo on Tue Jan 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, it's essential to ensure that paragraphs are well-structured and ideas flow logically from one to another. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the connectivity between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that pronoun references are clear and that there is an appropriate use of vocabulary to indicate logical relationships between ideas.

task achievement

While the response does address the task sufficiently, a more developed position with a greater range of sentence structures could enhance clarity and the overall comprehensiveness of ideas. Furthermore, the essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples to support arguments. Including illustrative examples would strengthen the argumentation and make the ideas more concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fast food is becoming part of life everywhere. This phenomenon affects people’s lifestyle and diet.Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, increasing numbers of people are becoming interested in learning about the history of the house or building where they live. What are the reasons for this? hOW CAN PEOPLE RESEARCH THIS?

In many towns and cities, large shopping malls are replacing small local shops. Do you think this is a positive development? Give your reasons and examples.

You have decided to leave your current employment. Write a letter to your employer. Include the following in your letter: – Explain why you are writing – Explain why you have decided to leave the company – Tell your employer what you plan to do after leaving your present employment

In the future,nobody will buy printed paper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?