The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

About a decade ago, when the
internet
was invented, it changed our lives irreversibly. It is believed that in today’s world
people
wouldn’t be able to survive even one day without wifi. It is because most of your research is based on the things we see online. Some
people
think that soon the
internet
will become the main news source for learning and I fully agree with that. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will explain why I support
this
opinion. The
internet
is always renewable so the news you see
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
usually true and
this
is because scientists use the
internet
as the quickest way to inform.
For example
, you can always google and see about the most recent viruses, upcoming weather or other events.
This
gives
people
a chance to always be careful, safe and educated. The
internet
always contains the most recent information about all kinds of topics and in general it offers
people
more info which can really help especially when you are doing research work for your school or job.
For instance
, scientists always discover unknown facts in biology or
physics related
Add a hyphen
physics-related
show examples
areas so a minor change must be noticed or
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
it could have a serious impact on a person’s health when
people
are creating cures.
This
is important and the
books
can not be compared with that. Even if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
are more dependable because the wifi can easily vanish sometimes and the
books
stay in place, I think that in our century the
internet
is more needed. The only thing that definitely makes
books
better is that all stories written by actual authors and not AIs are needed for our
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
,
self improvement
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
show examples
, creativity and soul. In conclusion, even if the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is a much faster way of learning and even if it contains more information, I do not agree that it can fully replace
books
. As long as
people
do not develop an addiction to the
internet
and as long as it’s safe for everyone to use, I believe that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is a more effective way of learning.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay follows a basic logical structure, but the progression of ideas could be improved. Try to develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and consequent supporting sentences that logically follow one another.
Coherence & Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effective in presenting and summarizing the main argument. Work on expanding your introductory paragraph to better outline your position and consider strengthening your conclusion by summarizing your key points more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
You provided some main points to support your argument, yet they can benefit from more development. Each paragraph should explore the main idea in depth with detailed examples and explanations.
Task Achievement
While you present a complete response to the prompt, your position regarding the replacement of books by the internet is unclear. Make sure to express your viewpoint unequivocally to fulfill the task achievement criteria.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but they are not comprehensive or fully elaborated. Provide more precise explanations and delve into the details of how the internet impacts learning compared to books.
Task Achievement
You mention some general examples concerning recent viruses, weather, and discoveries in science, but these need to be more explicitly connected to the question of how the internet contributes to learning and how it compares to books. Offer more specific and directly relevant examples to support your claims.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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