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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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The argument about whether education providers must be accountable has been gaining momentum across the world in recent times.
While
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 many people argue that guardians should incorporate good behaviour in their children, others believe that school is the most appropriate location for
this
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. Both views of
this
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 topic will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference. On one hand, it is believed by some people that the biological mother and father are responsible for teaching their sons and daughters to respect society. The primary factor is that a home is considered the first informal learning place for children, where they are raised in a family atmosphere that already has proven experience and image in society.
In addition
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, parents use a variety of emotional and rigorous techniques on kids to inherit the same social qualities.
For example
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, it is a common perception that youngsters who are not supervised properly at their residences are more prone to get involved in unsocial activities.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, some people are of the view that formal education is the correct method to teach manners to youngsters. The main reason is that schools provide equal opportunities for learning to every student without worrying about their backgrounds. Another factor is that teachers bring in a lot of personal and professional experience under one umbrella for schoolers to acquire vast knowledge to differentiate between good and bad.
For instance
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, research conducted by the Australian College of Social Behaviour discovered that educational institutions that have social education as part of their curriculum would produce 40% more responsible community members than others.
As a consequence
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, it is apparent why some show a penchant towards
this
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 argument. In summary, following analysis of the two sides,
it is clear that
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 schooling for children brings the best behaviour out of them, which is more favourable for society.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay includes a clearly stated opinion in the introduction and a summarized restatement in the conclusion for stronger task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Try using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of your essay. This can also enhance logical structuring.
task achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more specific examples and explanations to add depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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